Comments on: About You http://recoveringstraightgirl.com Leading the Doily Dyke Revolution Sun, 06 Jul 2008 03:43:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: HappyEeyore http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-29236 HappyEeyore Sat, 05 Jul 2008 17:20:12 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-29236 I first heard of your site while visiting my ex-girlfriend. I check it frequently - I enjoy reading it. I'm 26. Shortly after high school my childhood best friend and I began exploring our sexualitiy with each other. I had been with one guy, but had very strong feelings for her. Our relationship ended after almost 2 years, but our friendship remained intact. My relationships with men were never really fulfilling. I had a "friend with benefits" that occupied about 3 years of my time. I had a couple of one night stands. I dated one man for just shy of a year. I didn't truly start living a lesbian life until 25. I fell for a girl at work. She broke up with her girlfriend and we got together. Given my history of non-commitment and sex with boys, she was very apprehensive at first, but we both had feelings for each other that were undeniable. We have been together 7 months. "Children" : a 2 year old black lab and an 11 year old cat :) I live in Florida, near Orlando. No ex-husband, but my ex-friendwithbenefits thinks it's great (he's my best friend now). My friends and family have been very supportive. Reactions have all be positive. They ranged from "wow, I never thought you'd actually come out" to "I knew you liked her years ago." I currently have a partner, and she is fantastic. She has been extremely supportive, but not pressuring, during the coming out process. I lost my parents when I was 13 and 21. Her parents have really been gracious and accepting of our relationship and have welcomed me into the family with open arms and giant hugs. We do not currently have children, though we would like to in about 5 years. She is applying for Seminaries now, and I am looking to go back to school and get my Master's in Education and be a Principal ... I feel bad for our future kids ... children of a minister and a principal :) I first heard of your site while visiting my ex-girlfriend. I check it frequently - I enjoy reading it.

I’m 26. Shortly after high school my childhood best friend and I began exploring our sexualitiy with each other. I had been with one guy, but had very strong feelings for her. Our relationship ended after almost 2 years, but our friendship remained intact.

My relationships with men were never really fulfilling. I had a “friend with benefits” that occupied about 3 years of my time. I had a couple of one night stands. I dated one man for just shy of a year.

I didn’t truly start living a lesbian life until 25. I fell for a girl at work. She broke up with her girlfriend and we got together. Given my history of non-commitment and sex with boys, she was very apprehensive at first, but we both had feelings for each other that were undeniable. We have been together 7 months.

“Children” : a 2 year old black lab and an 11 year old cat :)

I live in Florida, near Orlando.

No ex-husband, but my ex-friendwithbenefits thinks it’s great (he’s my best friend now). My friends and family have been very supportive. Reactions have all be positive. They ranged from “wow, I never thought you’d actually come out” to “I knew you liked her years ago.”

I currently have a partner, and she is fantastic. She has been extremely supportive, but not pressuring, during the coming out process. I lost my parents when I was 13 and 21. Her parents have really been gracious and accepting of our relationship and have welcomed me into the family with open arms and giant hugs.

We do not currently have children, though we would like to in about 5 years. She is applying for Seminaries now, and I am looking to go back to school and get my Master’s in Education and be a Principal … I feel bad for our future kids … children of a minister and a principal :)

]]> By: Terri http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-28575 Terri Thu, 12 Jun 2008 01:56:45 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-28575 How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? My ex and I started dating when I was 15, we married when I turned 20 and were married for 22 years. At what age you began living a lesbian life. 42 How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? Two daughters, 16 and 18 when we divorced, 23 and 21 now. What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) Willamette Valley, Oregon The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. Eventually he was OK. He didn't see it coming. The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. Both girls took a while to get used to the new me, so they spent most of their last teen-age years with him. If you currently have a partner. Yes, she adopted her first greyhounds from me. We were married in Vancouver, BC in 2003. If your partner has children. No The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. They call Karen their other mother. Do you and your partner have children together? No, but we have may greyhounds. How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? My ex and I started dating when I was 15, we married when I turned 20 and were married for 22 years.

At what age you began living a lesbian life. 42

How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? Two daughters, 16 and 18 when we divorced, 23 and 21 now.

What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) Willamette Valley, Oregon

The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. Eventually he was OK. He didn’t see it coming.

The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. Both girls took a while to get used to the new me, so they spent most of their last teen-age years with him.

If you currently have a partner. Yes, she adopted her first greyhounds from me. We were married in Vancouver, BC in 2003.

If your partner has children. No

The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. They call Karen their other mother.

Do you and your partner have children together? No, but we have may greyhounds.

]]> By: daltalk http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-28148 daltalk Fri, 30 May 2008 15:04:54 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-28148 How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? Married for 19 years, together for 25 At what age you began living a lesbian life. 43 How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? 2 b=15, g=13, now b=21, g=19 What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) New England The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. I ruined his life.... The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. Now, kids are over 18 so NONE. Up till now as little as possible, all contact done by e-mail...unless he got drunk and decided to call my wife and rant and rave If you currently have a partner. Met on-line at an Alanon meeting in 2001 If your partner has children. We have children together The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. None...they dislike her...she tried...alot. Do you and your partner have children together? Yes, 4 y/o adopted from Guatemala and a 8 month old carried by her. How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? Married for 19 years, together for 25

At what age you began living a lesbian life. 43

How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? 2 b=15, g=13, now b=21, g=19

What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) New England

The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. I ruined his life….

The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband.
Now, kids are over 18 so NONE. Up till now as little as possible, all contact done by e-mail…unless he got drunk and decided to call my wife and rant and rave

If you currently have a partner. Met on-line at an Alanon meeting in 2001

If your partner has children. We have children together

The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. None…they dislike her…she tried…alot.

Do you and your partner have children together? Yes, 4 y/o adopted from Guatemala and a 8 month old carried by her.

]]> By: Eileen http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-27850 Eileen Thu, 15 May 2008 13:54:20 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-27850 Hi, my name is Eileem and I just turned 34.........I love reading your blogs, and I love reading everyone else's stories..I couldn't believe my eyes when I stumbled upon your site...there was more of us than I thought.......Well my story goes like this..........I was with my EH since I was 15, we moved in together at the age of 18, and I became pregnant at 19, got married and had a baby at 20, and then I had another baby at 22, another at 24, another at 26, and another at 28, and then my last babies arrived when I was 30....Yes I was blessed with 7 wonderfull, challenging kids......Our family was the perfect family in our tiny town of Hanson, MA...I grew up there, they are so narrow minded......I have been through many struggles in my life, and some pushed me into certain circumstances......I chose to marry my high school sweetheart, I wanted the guy who loved me no matter what, I wanted what I didn't have in a father, and to fill a void inside of me, I was molested by my father early in life, and I didn't come to terms with it until adult hood....I was adopted as a baby, and never felt like I belonged anywhere, so with my EH I felt I had everything I needed....We played the happy family for many years........My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when my third child was a baby, and at the same time I had just found my birth family, so my life was in a bit of chaos, and my copping skills weren't that great.....I had a hard time finding happiness, I had been thru so much, my mom was so sick, I was scared because we weren't close and there was so much I wanted to tell her......My EX couldn't deal with me, he thought I was going crazy,... I began couciling and learned I wasn't crazy, I just needed to figure things out...I asked my EH to go to counciling, and of course NO was the answer......Well over the next two years, my mom battled, my EH and I battled.....My mom passed away in 2001, I was lost, I felt so broken, but I picked up the pieces and pretended to be the strong one, as everyone else percieved me......We bought a house of our own, because we had been living with my mom.....We had a new baby in between the death of my mom and the move, it was crazy....I felt that was it, our family was complete, I asked the EH to get fixed because we were done......but as most men, he didn't...After moving into our new house, a very stressfull time for us due to financial issues, I found out I was pregnant, I thought how, we barely ever have sex.........I went to my midwife and I was 4 months pregnant with TWINS.........it was crazy.....but all babies are a miracle, so we embraced this news and being to tredge forward.......our marriage was not good, but we focused on the kids.......Okay so let me fast forward and tell you what brought me to this page..... I had told my EH I wanted out a million times, but how would we do it, he didn't believe me for a minute.......Well things started to fall into place......I was coaching softball, and one of my assistants was a girl who grew up in the same town as myself, but was 7 years older....This woman, was known in town as "the lesbian"......I like her, she was great to coach with.....to my surprise I had strange feelings for her......what was wrong with me???? We hung out alot, my EH would say, you like her, etc...NO NO I would say...then one day, I had to finally admit it, I did like her, I was attracted to her body, mind and soul, she was awesome....So I asked if I could experiment with her, and of course a typical guys answer....only if I can too.....So we all fooled around, and in the end she and I realized we wanted to be together......I told my EH, he was crushed, we had been together for 17 years, married for 12 at the time......I felt bad, but I didn't want to live my life without happiness, and my kids also deserved to have a happy mom...So I told him we were looking for a new place to live, and not a big deal because our house was in foreclosure, so I needed to get the kids out anyways.....My girlfriend and I looked at a million houses, we finally found on in Plymouth, MA.....She bought the house and we moved in with her and her two kids (two girls)....so under our roof we had 9 kids, ages 11,10,9,8,6, 4, 2,2, yes it was insane, but well worth the love.......My EH and I worked things out without going to court, we didn't have any money, I was a stay at home mom, with no education, he was working two jobs....We had NO problems with money or visitation...well that is until he got a girlfriend a year after we moved, then the child support was changed, and I filed papers for a divorce......the man who once came to our house at least 3 times a week, who took the kids every weekend he was off, all of a sudden didn't come around anymore, didn't call anymore, etc.....It was so sad....he began being nasty to me, and to my GF.....we no longer could work together for the kids......and then my GF ex became nasty, hating her lesbian life style...Yes she was married too, but always new she was gay.....but her marriage fell apart because he had an affair...So anyways, things were bad in our house for a bit, her kids had a hard time adjusting, so finally they went to live with their dad, and things are bad, he says bad things about our lifestyle, and that we are going to hell, etc,.....that is a whole other story.....So my divorce was final on April 24, 2008, the day my EH asked his girlfriend to marry him...funny thing.....I don't care except that she doesn't like kids, and has changed him so much, he went from seeing the kids about 10 times a month to four times a month, no calls and no extra visits, child support has been an issue.....WE can't communicate at all, it is awefull for the kids.....the courts have NOT been any help either....that too is another whole story.... So my GF and I share all parenting roles, she does everything she can for the kids and myself......alot to take on.....Our kids living with us are now 13, 11, 9, 7,5, 3, 3.....They call her by her name, Barbie..We all have our moments, but for the most part we all get along..... We have been together for almost 3 years, and have had many challenges, but the one constant in our life is our love for eachother....I never thought I could feel such a connection with one person, I was always so closed off......but I have found my other half, my sole mate...I love and adore her like NO other......We do not plan to have any kids together, we have enough, and sometimes more than we can handle........I never imagined being gay, not that there is anything wrong with it, my EH and I had lesbian friends, but I just never felt attracted to another woman.....but here I am, yes I am a dyke, lesbian, girl lover, whatever you want to call me....I am so proud of our love, I don't hide it, and if people don't like it, to bad for them....We have had to deal with discrimination with kids and adults, on the school bus, in the school building, etc but we just tell our kids it is about LOVE and no one should judge anyone.......So that is our life, sorry so long and drawn out, but that is maybe half of it..LOL Hi, my name is Eileem and I just turned 34………I love reading your blogs, and I love reading everyone else’s stories..I couldn’t believe my eyes when I stumbled upon your site…there was more of us than I thought…….Well my story goes like this……….I was with my EH since I was 15, we moved in together at the age of 18, and I became pregnant at 19, got married and had a baby at 20, and then I had another baby at 22, another at 24, another at 26, and another at 28, and then my last babies arrived when I was 30….Yes I was blessed with 7 wonderfull, challenging kids……Our family was the perfect family in our tiny town of Hanson, MA…I grew up there, they are so narrow minded……I have been through many struggles in my life, and some pushed me into certain circumstances……I chose to marry my high school sweetheart, I wanted the guy who loved me no matter what, I wanted what I didn’t have in a father, and to fill a void inside of me, I was molested by my father early in life, and I didn’t come to terms with it until adult hood….I was adopted as a baby, and never felt like I belonged anywhere, so with my EH I felt I had everything I needed….We played the happy family for many years……..My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when my third child was a baby, and at the same time I had just found my birth family, so my life was in a bit of chaos, and my copping skills weren’t that great…..I had a hard time finding happiness, I had been thru so much, my mom was so sick, I was scared because we weren’t close and there was so much I wanted to tell her……My EX couldn’t deal with me, he thought I was going crazy,… I began couciling and learned I wasn’t crazy, I just needed to figure things out…I asked my EH to go to counciling, and of course NO was the answer……Well over the next two years, my mom battled, my EH and I battled…..My mom passed away in 2001, I was lost, I felt so broken, but I picked up the pieces and pretended to be the strong one, as everyone else percieved me……We bought a house of our own, because we had been living with my mom…..We had a new baby in between the death of my mom and the move, it was crazy….I felt that was it, our family was complete, I asked the EH to get fixed because we were done……but as most men, he didn’t…After moving into our new house, a very stressfull time for us due to financial issues, I found out I was pregnant, I thought how, we barely ever have sex………I went to my midwife and I was 4 months pregnant with TWINS………it was crazy…..but all babies are a miracle, so we embraced this news and being to tredge forward…….our marriage was not good, but we focused on the kids…….Okay so let me fast forward and tell you what brought me to this page….. I had told my EH I wanted out a million times, but how would we do it, he didn’t believe me for a minute…….Well things started to fall into place……I was coaching softball, and one of my assistants was a girl who grew up in the same town as myself, but was 7 years older….This woman, was known in town as “the lesbian”……I like her, she was great to coach with…..to my surprise I had strange feelings for her……what was wrong with me???? We hung out alot, my EH would say, you like her, etc…NO NO I would say…then one day, I had to finally admit it, I did like her, I was attracted to her body, mind and soul, she was awesome….So I asked if I could experiment with her, and of course a typical guys answer….only if I can too…..So we all fooled around, and in the end she and I realized we wanted to be together……I told my EH, he was crushed, we had been together for 17 years, married for 12 at the time……I felt bad, but I didn’t want to live my life without happiness, and my kids also deserved to have a happy mom…So I told him we were looking for a new place to live, and not a big deal because our house was in foreclosure, so I needed to get the kids out anyways…..My girlfriend and I looked at a million houses, we finally found on in Plymouth, MA…..She bought the house and we moved in with her and her two kids (two girls)….so under our roof we had 9 kids, ages 11,10,9,8,6, 4, 2,2, yes it was insane, but well worth the love…….My EH and I worked things out without going to court, we didn’t have any money, I was a stay at home mom, with no education, he was working two jobs….We had NO problems with money or visitation…well that is until he got a girlfriend a year after we moved, then the child support was changed, and I filed papers for a divorce……the man who once came to our house at least 3 times a week, who took the kids every weekend he was off, all of a sudden didn’t come around anymore, didn’t call anymore, etc…..It was so sad….he began being nasty to me, and to my GF…..we no longer could work together for the kids……and then my GF ex became nasty, hating her lesbian life style…Yes she was married too, but always new she was gay…..but her marriage fell apart because he had an affair…So anyways, things were bad in our house for a bit, her kids had a hard time adjusting, so finally they went to live with their dad, and things are bad, he says bad things about our lifestyle, and that we are going to hell, etc,…..that is a whole other story…..So my divorce was final on April 24, 2008, the day my EH asked his girlfriend to marry him…funny thing…..I don’t care except that she doesn’t like kids, and has changed him so much, he went from seeing the kids about 10 times a month to four times a month, no calls and no extra visits, child support has been an issue…..WE can’t communicate at all, it is awefull for the kids…..the courts have NOT been any help either….that too is another whole story….
So my GF and I share all parenting roles, she does everything she can for the kids and myself……alot to take on…..Our kids living with us are now 13, 11, 9, 7,5, 3, 3…..They call her by her name, Barbie..We all have our moments, but for the most part we all get along…..
We have been together for almost 3 years, and have had many challenges, but the one constant in our life is our love for eachother….I never thought I could feel such a connection with one person, I was always so closed off……but I have found my other half, my sole mate…I love and adore her like NO other……We do not plan to have any kids together, we have enough, and sometimes more than we can handle……..I never imagined being gay, not that there is anything wrong with it, my EH and I had lesbian friends, but I just never felt attracted to another woman…..but here I am, yes I am a dyke, lesbian, girl lover, whatever you want to call me….I am so proud of our love, I don’t hide it, and if people don’t like it, to bad for them….We have had to deal with discrimination with kids and adults, on the school bus, in the school building, etc but we just tell our kids it is about LOVE and no one should judge anyone…….So that is our life, sorry so long and drawn out, but that is maybe half of it..LOL

]]> By: Wendy http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-27830 Wendy Wed, 14 May 2008 01:54:20 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-27830 My name is Wendy and I have been a RSG for 8 (almost 9) years. It had been a challenging journey, but I wouldn't change a thing... except that I wish blogs/sites like this existed when I was first going through all this. 1. How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? For 15 years 2. At what age you began living a lesbian life? Age 33 3. How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? Ages at time of divorce were 9, 6, and 4. Now, 17, 14 and 12. 4. What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) I live in Oregon! 5. The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. Whew. Got an extra page for that? I have battled threats, letters, emails and other condemnation from him over the last 8 years (all with th e"authority of God" on his side). 6. The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. 40/60 7. If you currently have a partner. Yes. The same one since I left my husband. 8. If your partner has children. Yes, the 14 and 12 year old. 9. The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. She is loving and supportive step-mom. 10. Do you and your partner have children together? No biological kids together. We were lucky enough to have our kids young when we got together so that they feel like siblings and we truly feel like parents. I am so glad I discovered your blog... and thanks for all you share! My name is Wendy and I have been a RSG for 8 (almost 9) years. It had been a challenging journey, but I wouldn’t change a thing… except that I wish blogs/sites like this existed when I was first going through all this.
1. How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? For 15 years
2. At what age you began living a lesbian life? Age 33
3. How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? Ages at time of divorce were 9, 6, and 4. Now, 17, 14 and 12.
4. What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) I live in Oregon!
5. The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. Whew. Got an extra page for that? I have battled threats, letters, emails and other condemnation from him over the last 8 years (all with th e”authority of God” on his side).
6. The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. 40/60
7. If you currently have a partner. Yes. The same one since I left my husband.
8. If your partner has children. Yes, the 14 and 12 year old.
9. The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. She is loving and supportive step-mom.
10. Do you and your partner have children together? No biological kids together. We were lucky enough to have our kids young when we got together so that they feel like siblings and we truly feel like parents.

I am so glad I discovered your blog… and thanks for all you share!

]]> By: Amy http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-27708 Amy Mon, 05 May 2008 01:58:54 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-27708 Where to start? I'm 33. Just barely. My whole life I thought I was straight, but broken. I dated a lot when I was young, using sex to boost my self esteem. I never enjoyed sex with men but figured it was what I needed to do. When I was 21 I met my husband. He was 15 years older than me. He was a nice guy, had a job, and genuinely cared for me. I also genuinely cared for him. I figured that was as good as I was going to get. I thought I was unable to love. So at 21, I married him. Our life was nice. We had most of what we wanted. But sex was always an issue. He wanted more, I wanted never. I put out like a good wife. It was a chore, like doing the dishes or making someone's lunch. You do it because you know it makes someone else happy, not because you want to. So we lived our married life, mostly happy. But he was never content with the intimacy in our life. 5 years into our marriage we met another couple. She and I were instantly best friends. This was unusual for both of us. Neither of us made friends often, muchless quickly... But within months we were inseperable. I thought I had met my lost sister. For 4 years we were all friends. Our husbands got on well, and we both liked each other's husbands. But it was our friendship that was the cement. And eventually we realized we had been in love for a very long time. We began an affair (something I am in no way happy about or proud of). After a few short months my husband figured it out and the shit hit the fan. He demanded I stop seeing her. I refused, and to my surprise he allowed it. But he couldn't handle it. I don't blame him. He went nuts. After a couple of months I was forced to obtain a restraining order, change the locks, and file for divorce. He was awful. He threatened both of our lives, hid cameras in my home, and stalked us both. Eventually life returned to normal (after several moves to evade him). I finally finished my divorce last month, after 2 years... So not long after we separated I realized I was gay. It was the happiest day of my life. My whole life made sense. I wasn't broken. I am able to love. I am alive. I will never settle again. All of the pieces fell into place and I realized I had been rather dense to not realize it before. Heck, the rest of the world was shocked whenever I mentioned that I was married. Duh... Apparently the rest of the world had better gaydar than I did. My wonderful beloved also realized she was gay, but took a bit longer to leave her marriage. I have been so lucky with wonderful friends and family. Sadly, her family is much less supportive and thinks we are going to hell. It was very hard for her to lose her family as they were very close. We have been together for 2 and half years. We bought a house together about a year ago. Neither of us have children (a choice we had both made in our marriages). We live in northwest Washington. My husband still hates us and I have no doubt would do us harm if we stumbled across his life. We both try hard to not ever be where he might be. I monitor him and know where he lives. I don't think he knows where we live. Her husband was another story all together. He and I have been friends for a long time. He introduced me to his wife, thinking we were peas in a pod. He was right. Though he was devasted to lose his wife (they were together 20 years, married for 15), he understood. We actually all decided together to live together. He's our roommate. After all these years, he just wasn't ready to live alone. We both love him as a wonderful friend and as busy as we all are it takes three of us to make sure the dog gets lovin' and fed every day. So he's the polar opposite of my husband. He is starting to date, but he's picky. I don't blame him. My girlfriend is about the most incredible person I have ever met and she would be a hard act to follow. So that's us... Two more recovering straight girls. I love your blog. It's the only one I've ever read. I found it when I was researching Olivia (we're now addicts too) and have been laughing my ass off ever since. Thanks for the smiles! Where to start? I’m 33. Just barely. My whole life I thought I was straight, but broken. I dated a lot when I was young, using sex to boost my self esteem. I never enjoyed sex with men but figured it was what I needed to do.

When I was 21 I met my husband. He was 15 years older than me. He was a nice guy, had a job, and genuinely cared for me. I also genuinely cared for him. I figured that was as good as I was going to get. I thought I was unable to love. So at 21, I married him.

Our life was nice. We had most of what we wanted. But sex was always an issue. He wanted more, I wanted never. I put out like a good wife. It was a chore, like doing the dishes or making someone’s lunch. You do it because you know it makes someone else happy, not because you want to.

So we lived our married life, mostly happy. But he was never content with the intimacy in our life. 5 years into our marriage we met another couple. She and I were instantly best friends. This was unusual for both of us. Neither of us made friends often, muchless quickly… But within months we were inseperable. I thought I had met my lost sister.

For 4 years we were all friends. Our husbands got on well, and we both liked each other’s husbands. But it was our friendship that was the cement. And eventually we realized we had been in love for a very long time.

We began an affair (something I am in no way happy about or proud of). After a few short months my husband figured it out and the shit hit the fan. He demanded I stop seeing her. I refused, and to my surprise he allowed it. But he couldn’t handle it. I don’t blame him. He went nuts.

After a couple of months I was forced to obtain a restraining order, change the locks, and file for divorce. He was awful. He threatened both of our lives, hid cameras in my home, and stalked us both. Eventually life returned to normal (after several moves to evade him). I finally finished my divorce last month, after 2 years…

So not long after we separated I realized I was gay. It was the happiest day of my life. My whole life made sense. I wasn’t broken. I am able to love. I am alive. I will never settle again. All of the pieces fell into place and I realized I had been rather dense to not realize it before. Heck, the rest of the world was shocked whenever I mentioned that I was married. Duh… Apparently the rest of the world had better gaydar than I did.

My wonderful beloved also realized she was gay, but took a bit longer to leave her marriage. I have been so lucky with wonderful friends and family. Sadly, her family is much less supportive and thinks we are going to hell. It was very hard for her to lose her family as they were very close.

We have been together for 2 and half years. We bought a house together about a year ago. Neither of us have children (a choice we had both made in our marriages). We live in northwest Washington. My husband still hates us and I have no doubt would do us harm if we stumbled across his life. We both try hard to not ever be where he might be. I monitor him and know where he lives. I don’t think he knows where we live.

Her husband was another story all together. He and I have been friends for a long time. He introduced me to his wife, thinking we were peas in a pod. He was right. Though he was devasted to lose his wife (they were together 20 years, married for 15), he understood. We actually all decided together to live together. He’s our roommate. After all these years, he just wasn’t ready to live alone.

We both love him as a wonderful friend and as busy as we all are it takes three of us to make sure the dog gets lovin’ and fed every day. So he’s the polar opposite of my husband. He is starting to date, but he’s picky. I don’t blame him. My girlfriend is about the most incredible person I have ever met and she would be a hard act to follow.

So that’s us… Two more recovering straight girls. I love your blog. It’s the only one I’ve ever read. I found it when I was researching Olivia (we’re now addicts too) and have been laughing my ass off ever since. Thanks for the smiles!

]]> By: Moss http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-26148 Moss Sun, 09 Mar 2008 08:59:54 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-26148 1. I was married to B for six years. We were polyamorous. 2. What's a lesbian life? I first slept with a girl when I was 19. I lived with a woman, K, during my marriage to B. I started living in a monogamous female-female relationship at age 31 to a woman who is 46. 3. Vasectomy when B and I were 26. Hooray for no more birth control! We did have several animals together. 4. The Land of Moss and Ferns. 5. He's thrilled that I'm happy. 6. We shared custody of our dog 50-50 until I moved 750 miles away. 7. The lovely TW shares my bed and has my heart. 8. TW has a cat named Sid. 9. My dog slept with us once before we moved away. We're going to visit her in a couple weeks. 10. Nope, no kids (or animals) together. We make great aunties, though! 1. I was married to B for six years. We were polyamorous.
2. What’s a lesbian life? I first slept with a girl when I was 19. I lived with a woman, K, during my marriage to B. I started living in a monogamous female-female relationship at age 31 to a woman who is 46.
3. Vasectomy when B and I were 26. Hooray for no more birth control! We did have several animals together.
4. The Land of Moss and Ferns.
5. He’s thrilled that I’m happy.
6. We shared custody of our dog 50-50 until I moved 750 miles away.
7. The lovely TW shares my bed and has my heart.
8. TW has a cat named Sid.
9. My dog slept with us once before we moved away. We’re going to visit her in a couple weeks.
10. Nope, no kids (or animals) together. We make great aunties, though!

]]> By: Michelle http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-24744 Michelle Wed, 23 Jan 2008 21:01:37 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-24744 How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? I spent most of my years with men. I married my ex 8 days after college graduation (just like I was supposed to). We were married for 8 years but together for 6.5. The other 1.5 were just about health insurance. At what age you began living a lesbian life. I lived my lfe, in my head, as a lesbian for quite some time. I came out, and into my first relationship when I was 29. How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? I have one beautiful daughter. She is 12 now. She was 2 when her father and I divorced. My new girlfriend and I pretty much moved in together right away, so my kid only remembers growing up with two moms and a dad who lives somewhere else. What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) At the time of the above I was in Oakland, CA. The dad and I met in San Diego and the kid was born in Dallas. The kid and I now live far far northern CA. The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. He has no problem with it. I told him before we were married that I like women. Like most straight men I think that meant that he would be the lucky participant of a threesome. He has accepted my girlfriends and life. He is married again and is happy. The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. I have the kid 3/4 of the time. I make most of the every day decisions with the kid and consult him on the bigger things. Sometimes when I am too tired to deal with a learning moment with her I tell her to go call her dad and tell him what she did. He and I pretty much agree on what we think is right and what we think is wrong and how to discipline her. If you currently have a partner. If your partner has children. The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. My partner and I broke up after 7 years togther. Like too many lesbian couples she thought the grass was greener on our best friend's side of the fence. Before we moved in together we discussed what roll she would play in my kid's life. She and I (and the dad) agreed that she would be mom. It was great while it lasted, but now it is a pain in the ass because, although she didn't seem to have regard for our family when she left, she is constantly on my back now in regard to the kid. I have done nothing to keep them apart, but really don't want to have anything to do with keeping them together. The kid is 12 and can call and e-mail of her own free will. Anyway, after that experience and based on my kid's age, I decided no more co parents. I don't expect someone I am with to not take part in her life, but I am not willing to share the most awesome place of parent with anyone elss. Do you and your partner have children together? I have not had a child with a partner. My ex girlfriend and I seriously considered it, but it never happened. In retrospect I am very glad for that. How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man?
I spent most of my years with men. I married my ex 8 days after college graduation (just like I was supposed to). We were married for 8 years but together for 6.5. The other 1.5 were just about health insurance.

At what age you began living a lesbian life.
I lived my lfe, in my head, as a lesbian for quite some time. I came out, and into my first relationship when I was 29.

How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now?
I have one beautiful daughter. She is 12 now. She was 2 when her father and I divorced. My new girlfriend and I pretty much moved in together right away, so my kid only remembers growing up with two moms and a dad who lives somewhere else.

What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.)
At the time of the above I was in Oakland, CA. The dad and I met in San Diego and the kid was born in Dallas. The kid and I now live far far northern CA.

The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life.
He has no problem with it. I told him before we were married that I like women. Like most straight men I think that meant that he would be the lucky participant of a threesome. He has accepted my girlfriends and life. He is married again and is happy.

The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband.
I have the kid 3/4 of the time. I make most of the every day decisions with the kid and consult him on the bigger things. Sometimes when I am too tired to deal with a learning moment with her I tell her to go call her dad and tell him what she did. He and I pretty much agree on what we think is right and what we think is wrong and how to discipline her.

If you currently have a partner.
If your partner has children.
The role your partner plays in your children’s lives.
My partner and I broke up after 7 years togther. Like too many lesbian couples she thought the grass was greener on our best friend’s side of the fence. Before we moved in together we discussed what roll she would play in my kid’s life. She and I (and the dad) agreed that she would be mom. It was great while it lasted, but now it is a pain in the ass because, although she didn’t seem to have regard for our family when she left, she is constantly on my back now in regard to the kid. I have done nothing to keep them apart, but really don’t want to have anything to do with keeping them together. The kid is 12 and can call and e-mail of her own free will. Anyway, after that experience and based on my kid’s age, I decided no more co parents. I don’t expect someone I am with to not take part in her life, but I am not willing to share the most awesome place of parent with anyone elss.

Do you and your partner have children together?
I have not had a child with a partner. My ex girlfriend and I seriously considered it, but it never happened. In retrospect I am very glad for that.

]]> By: Jessica http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-24721 Jessica Tue, 22 Jan 2008 23:54:06 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-24721 How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? I was married when I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 12. We divorced after 18 months, after that I dated Bob for 3 yrs., after that I dated and got engaged to Rez for 5 yrs. In between there I dated several men and responded to one woman's personal ad about being bi-curious, it never went any further than friendship. At what age you began living a lesbian life. I started dating a woman right before my 33rd birthday this past August. How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? I have one daughter who was 18 months at the time of my divorce and she's 12 now. What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) I live on the East Coast of USA The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. He doesn't know. The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. I do most of the parenting, he's around MAYBE once a month. If you currently have a partner. Yes, I currently have a partner, I love her to death!!! If your partner has children. No, she does not have children. The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. Since I'm not out to my Mom or Daughter yet, she's friends with my daughter. Do you and your partner have children together? No, and we won't either. How long you were married or in a committed relationship with a man? I was married when I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 12. We divorced after 18 months, after that I dated Bob for 3 yrs., after that I dated and got engaged to Rez for 5 yrs. In between there I dated several men and responded to one woman’s personal ad about being bi-curious, it never went any further than friendship.

At what age you began living a lesbian life. I started dating a woman right before my 33rd birthday this past August.

How many children (if any,) and their ages at the time of your divorce and now? I have one daughter who was 18 months at the time of my divorce and she’s 12 now.

What area of the country/world that you live in? (You don’t have to be specific.) I live on the East Coast of USA

The general attitude of your ex-husband regarding your lesbian life. He doesn’t know.

The amount of parenting time you share with your ex-husband. I do most of the parenting, he’s around MAYBE once a month.

If you currently have a partner. Yes, I currently have a partner, I love her to death!!!

If your partner has children. No, she does not have children.

The role your partner plays in your children’s lives. Since I’m not out to my Mom or Daughter yet, she’s friends with my daughter.

Do you and your partner have children together? No, and we won’t either.

]]> By: E. http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-24369 E. Thu, 10 Jan 2008 04:16:34 +0000 http://recoveringstraightgirl.com/index.php/project-rsg/#comment-24369 1. I was with my ex-husband for 5 years. 2. I was 27 years old 3. My ex and I did not have any children while we were together. 4. I'm in the Portland metro area 5. He hates me and thinks I'm a sinner and a worthless cheater. 6. None 7. I currently have a partner (only woman I've been with) 8. We have a child together. 9. She's his other mama 10. See #8. Our son was born in April '07. :) 1. I was with my ex-husband for 5 years.
2. I was 27 years old
3. My ex and I did not have any children while we were together.
4. I’m in the Portland metro area
5. He hates me and thinks I’m a sinner and a worthless cheater.
6. None
7. I currently have a partner (only woman I’ve been with)
8. We have a child together.
9. She’s his other mama
10. See #8. Our son was born in April ‘07. :)

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