The “lesbians” staying married to men is the a very huge contributer also to homophobia.
Why does a lesbian need a husband?
Why don’t you answer that one if you seem to really have a grasp on things?
How true to one’s self and to one’s kids, and even to one’s husband, is anyone being while they sneak out and have unprotected sex with another woman and get home in time to have more unprotected sex with their husband.
And this isn’t a situation where there’s just a handful. It is RAMPANT.

And shortage of lesbians or not, which i’ve never had an issue. However.
How would you feel if you were madly in love with a woman who was hung up on a married woman?
How would you feel if these women who claim to be lesbians but are married to men started applying for grants that were only for lesbians?
Say you wanted to write a novel and so did some woman who thought it was fine to not think authentically? You both applied for a grant that was specifically for lesbian authors.
She married to a man. Fucking him and having a lesbian to fuck on the side.
She does not live life as an out lesbian, but is known as a woman married to a man. She has a husband and a girlfriend on the side.
She gets the grant. Maybe she’s a better writer than you (not that hard), maybe not.
Do you find this situation to be acceptable?
is it judging to say if you are not living your life as a lesbian you should stay the fuck away from grant contests that are lesbian specific?
Let’s examine why these women stay together with their husbands and lie and decieve and live life like fraudelent whores…
Money? What’s it called when you stay with someone because of money???

the kids?
Hey kids… mommy and daddy love each other! We just scream at each other and mommy cheats because… well she can’t leave because she loves money more than pussy?

How is any of this judging?
What other reasons should an alledged dyke stay married to a man?
How is that good for the husband? the kids? global goodness?
How is it ever good to lie? If you say you’re a dyke yet you are married to a man, you’re pretty much lying to one side? No.

And dear rsg, they go to Ask Joanne, for more than support. The posts are often dripping with teen agnst and it’s basically turned into a hook up spot for wayward wanna be dykes.

People go to gay bars to be around gay people? no?
I personally don’t go to a gay bar to be around women who are still sucking dick to keep the status quo while they are out looking to put those same lips on some lesbian.

How feministic is it? How good for women is it?
Yes, husband, I’m a lesbian.
But he still asks for sex, but he really loves me.
Oh… he’s just a man.
The excuses are worse than the judgements.

You and ask joanne could be setting women back, and back.
But that’s how the husbands like it? So it must be ok.

I’ve never known a lesbian who’s existence relies on anyone with a penis. Not a real lesbian anyway.

What would I like to say to the Proverbial Masses? I’d say, “Get over it, people. Sexuality may not be either-or. It really might be fluid for some people.

I’m not familiar with the site in question, but broad-stroke reactions about queer women who are married to men are overly simplistic and probably don’t reflect the immense diversity of situations, personalities, and dynamics at play.

/indignant soapbox

If anyone goes and reads the posts (they are public) they will see women who are really grappling with serious issues and trying to make good decisions. Most women on the board advocate being honest with their respective husbands or partners.

I would encourage people to check it out before casting dispersions.

Long time reader. Thanks for your funny and kind posts - they’ve been so comforting to me, and entertaining to read.

I would like to put in my two cents about this post. While I absolutely agree that we all need to be kinder to each other, and not attack, particularly through the anonymity of a blog, I don’t agree with the following statement:

“With that said–I still don’t believe in judging another person’s situation or the decisions that they are making. You can not judge what a person does until you have experienced that exact situation–and even then–you shouldn’t judge.”

We shouldn’t attack each other, for sure. But behavior that hurts others is still hurtful - and wrong - whether or not the observer has been through the same experience. I don’t believe it’s wrong to judge that behavior, assuming that we don’t use it as a basis for angry or judgemental responses of our own - but that kind of judgement can serve as an example for all of us as a way NOT to behave. I don’t have to cheat, lie, or hit somebody to know that these are not ethical things to do.

A nitpicky point, maybe, but I think it’s one that needs making.

Thanks for your writing -

Liz

You put your response to such nonsense perfectly! I completely agree with everything you said.

I, thank you, RSG and every other blog and person’s words I’ve read that I identified with who helped me through my journey of personal discovery. I’m not sure what I would do if I didn’t have blogs like yours to read that remind me that I’m not alone.