Is Marriage a Right or a Privilege?

Something to think about today. It’s a thought that I had and discussed with HG over the weekend. Is Marriage a Right or a Privilege? What makes something a “Right” and what makes something a “Privilege?” We’ve always been told that “Driving is a Privilege, not a Right,” and “Voting is a Privilege.”

What about Marriage?

To help this discussion, I thought I would utilize the dictionary as a start.

Right: legal entitlement to have or obtain something or to act in a certain way. (Oxford American Dictionary).

In the jurisprudence and the law, a right is the legal or moral entitlement to do or refrain from doing something, or to obtain or refrain from obtaining an action, thing or recognition in civil society (Wikipedia).

1: qualities (as adherence to duty or obedience to lawful authority) that together constitute the ideal of moral propriety or merit moral approval2: something to which one has a just claim: as a: the power or privilege to which one is justly entitled <voting rights> <his right to decide>  : the cause of truth or justice (Merriam-Webster)

Privilege: special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people (American Oxford Dictionary)

A privilege—etymologically “private law” or law relating to a specific individual—is a special entitlemen immunity granted by a government or other authority to a restricted group, either by birth or on a conditional basis or (Wikipedia).

a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor (Merriam-Webster).

What do you all think?

The Bigots All Around Me

This has been an unbelievable couple of weeks for discrimination against my family and families like ours.

First, the whole Sherwood Middle School play issue.

Then, Sally Kern and her big ugly words.

Then yesterday, Oregon State Senator Gary George (R-McMinnville,) gave an interview to the fabulous Stephen Marc Beaudoin from Just Out Newsmagazine.

He is one of the legislatures who is trying to repeal  the Oregon Equality Act–preventing discrimination based on sexual identity and gender expression.  Among some of his jewels of comments he said this,

“My advice to the gay community is SHUT UP, just don’t talk about it. If you walk around talking about what you do in the bedroom, you should be on the pervert channel.”

So let’s see. . . If in the workplace, Mr. George makes a passing comment about his wife, it’s okay.  But if I make a passing comment about my partner everyone’s minds immediately go to what we do in the bedroom?  I’m sorry, but WHO is the pervert here? Maybe he should be on the pervert channel, (which incidentally I checked my Direct TV line-up and I didn’t see it.)

And if all of that isn’t enough, today The Oregonian reported that the fine teacher who wrote the amazing play, Higher Ground is being investigated.  Her computer has been confiscated, her e-mail address changed and her job is apparently in jeopardy.

Can you say Witch Hunt?

What’s next, are they going to give her a trial and burn her at the stake using copies of Harry Potter and To Kill a Mockingbird as fuel?  This is the year Two Thousand and Fucking Eight people.

Time to fight harder.  Time to write MORE letters.  Time to be LOUDER.

Oregon Senator Gary George (R-McMinnville) 

Superintendent Dan Jamison, Sherwood School District

When we will get back to talking about boobs?

Shame on them

Today HG handed me the opinion section of The Oregonian; in it were two commentaries written of different opinions regarding Oregon’s new anti-discrimination law and Domestic Partnership law.

I knew I would probably not like the one written in opposition, but I read it anyway, and I’m glad I did. I felt as though the opinions that she stated in her commentary were absolute perfect examples of how this very black and white issue is made to look gray.

The contributor, Ms. Marilyn Shannon, claims that the anti-discrimination law (SB 2) is “reverse discrimination.”

Reverse discrimination?

Reverse discrimination is when a group of people not typically discriminated against are discriminated against.

How are white male heterosexuals being discriminated against by implementing a law that prohibits discrimination against a person based on their sexual orientation? How does protecting one group of people hurt another?

She calls it “preferential homosexual rights.” How are gays and lesbians being given “preferential rights” over everyone else in Oregon who already receives those same inherent rights?

Is Ms. Shannon given preferential rights as a woman?

Is she given preferential rights as a religious person?

By her own definition: Yes she is. Preferential rights seem to be fine as long as they work for her and other’s like her, and now she wants to be granted preferential rights as a bigot. She wants to be able to fire someone based on who they love. She wants to be able to not seat someone in a restaurant because she thinks they might be gay.

I wonder how she would feel if she came into a restaurant and someone refused to serve her because they felt that she was ugly? My guess is that she wouldn’t like it very much and guess what? Neither do the people in the GLBTQ community.

She further goes on to say that Oregon’s Domestic Partnership law is marriage disguised as something else. Domestic Partnerships in Oregon are not marriage, and do not provide the same protections that heterosexual couples are legally entitled to. Ms. Shannon claims that Oregon law does not recognize “common law marriages” to heterosexuals who live together. This example is completely irrelevant. If a heterosexual couple wishes to be married, they are provided and allowed this right within our law. Gay and lesbian couples do not have this option to exercise.

The marriage laws, both federal and state, protected me and my children during my marriage, throughout my subsequent divorce, and those laws still offer me protection today.

When I found love again and wanted to re-marry, I found that based on the gender of the person I would like to marry, I do not have the same rights that were once readily afforded to me.

Overnight, I went from a First-Class Citizen to a Second-Class Citizen, based entirely on whom I love.

Ms. Shannon states, “Our rights were stolen from us.”

No, Ms. Shannon. You’re rights are and have been protected. MY rights have been stolen from me, and shame on you and those like you for holding up your thievery as a moral value.

You can read the commentary in it’s entirety here.

When the devil speaks, I do listen*

It’s always good to listen to what the “other side” has to say, and I must say that this time what the other side is saying is down right scary.

Mr. McCain’s not conservative enough, Mr. Romney will run again in 2012, and Ann C. (U Next Tuesday) will support Ms. Clinton over her own party’s nominee, (especially if he chooses Mr. Huckabee as a running mate.)

I do believe that there has been a ripple in the space/time continuum, and I’m not liking the feeling of it all. I’m a little afraid and I would like to get off now.

I’m a May primary voter and I don’t have a say (most likely,) but I listen and I pay attention and I notice stuff around me. I listen to liberal talk radio, I hear the calls that come in from members of the GOP who say, “I will cross party lines to vote for Mr. Obama.” I like Mr. Obama’s stance on everything that I have heard; not hearing enough from him has been my only complaint.

When the devil says that she will support the other democratic candidate, I must say a little voice in my head starts to say, “there is something very, very wrong.” It would be similar to my ex-husband suddenly being kind to me. I would be more than a little bit suspicious.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Friday.

Good things about today:

• My wife is taking me out to Thai food and I will have a glass of wine.
• It’s now quiet in my house.
• I have very little homework for the weekend.
• Ginger’s butt is better.
• When I go to bed tonight, I will hopefully sleep until 8:00.
• Today on my way home from my institute for higher learning I had a chocolate and Kit-Kat blizzard from Dairy Queen.

Not so good things about today:

• DD#1 went over her text messaging by 287 messages.
• Not only that, but we had overage minutes, like $75. worth.
• This brings our cell phone bill to $215.00 for last month.
• This is going to compromise my Budget/Actual spreadsheet for household finances.
• When I brought this to DD#1’s attention this morning her reply was that she needed more text messaging on her plan, to which I responded, uh. No. To which she responded by throwing a big fucking fit, crying down the block and calling HG to tell her that I was MEAN. To which I responded by disabling her text messaging which = the end of the problem (for now.)
• DD#2 came home to tell me that she got a “Think Sheet” at school from the Asst. Principal for pinching a boy on the bus. She claims that he was making a big deal out of it and that she “barely touched him.”
• I’m very concerned about my children not accepting responsibility for their actions so HG and I will go to the store this week to buy a book on parenting teens to help us, because that’s just how I roll. When in doubt, I buy books.

And that’s all peeps. Have a stellar weekend!

* I don’t really believe in The Devil as a mystical evil sort of being, related or not to Jesus or anybody else.  I do believe that Ann C. (U Next Tuesday) is as close to evil in human form as one can ever hope to see.

Vote.

For those of you in Super Tuesday States- get out and vote! I don’t really give a rat’s ass who you vote for, just please vote so that I know who to send a check to next week.

And be nice.

If you spew a bunch of negative rhetoric (true or not,) it may come back to bite you in the ass if you end up needing to support that person you’re using logical fallacies against.

We’re in this together people.

Unfortunately politics is not a perfect entity, and no person is either. What’s important is that we keep our eye on the ball for progressive interests and put a stop to the terror that is the Bush administration.

Either Democratic candidate is going to be step in the right direction of our country and I will support whoever it is with my time, talent and treasure because I care about the future of this country.

Repairs need to be made, human rights issues need to be addressed, and I want to feel safe raising my children in this environment.

Human issues, protecting a woman’s right to choose, equality for all people (including immigrants,) education, getting out of that God forsaken war, environmental protection and economic prosperity.

Bush has racked up more debt than every president from Washington to Clinton COMBINED. What was once a surplus is now a deficit, thousands of people have lost their jobs, personal savings are now at a negative (the lowest since the great depression,) and thousands and thousands of people are dead due to an illegal occupation.

We can only have one nominee, and no one is perfect. Yes it would be nice to have a team of presidents, hand picked for their passion on an issue, but this is not our reality.

Just remember.

Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. I realize this is a cliche, but occasionally cliches have some inherent wisdom. This is one of them as it applies to this subject.

Ponder that.

Happy voting.

Wednesday

How’s that for a catchy title?  Well it’s not as lame as the title for the article I’m writing for my freelance newspaper job; that title is non-existent because I can’t think of a THING to write about for this week.  I’m so desperate that I’m looking back to what I wrote about last year at this time.  I’m sure something will come to me, I hope so, I kind of like that paycheck that comes every week, and frankly this whole being a college student and having expensive children, kind of drains the bank account.

Speaking of college.

School was good.

The first day was a little more interactive than I imagined in my head, and I wasn’t permitted to just sit there and observe, which is my typical M.O. when doing something new.  I had to be in a small group with two other people.   One of my group members.  Was seventeen.

I could legally drink when this girl was born. I really hate being so old.

I did my homework, and took two quizzes last night and it took me longer than it probably should have because I’m too much of a perfectionist and had to read every single thing thirty times.  I’m thorough I guess, but I’m most likely making this  a lot harder than it needs to be.

Today on Oprah is the re-run of the re-run of Gay Married Women, or however she puts it.  Basically its the story of some RSG’s, one of them quite hot from what I remember and people must have dug the show because this is seriously the third or fourth time they have run it.  I guess the writer’s strike has been good for our “homosexual agenda,” thanks writers!  Oprah makes things happen you know, (never mind about Obama losing New Hampshire, she DOES make things happen.) Hopefully the re-run of the re-run will cause some un-happy lesbian women stuck in the suburbs to have the courage to be true to herself.

Speaking of women who make things happen.  How about Hilary in NH?  My theory?  She showed the people of New Hampshire that she’s human, she showed a nurturing, personal side of her self.  Now I happen to like Hilary, I think that it’s completely un-fair and sexist that the issues that people complain about her are characteristics of a strong, independent, smart, authoritative type person.  If Hilary were a man, she would be looked at as a leader, but because she’s a woman, she’s looked at like a raging bitch.  I’m not exactly sure what offensive things that she had done politically to deserve the crap that she gets, but I have an idea that it isn’t much.

Oregon doesn’t vote in the primary until May.  In May, it will already be decided, so I really don’t have a say in who will get the nomination.  Because of this, I haven’t really given it much thought, except that I will support whoever is nominated with my time, my talent, and my treasure.  I like Obama, but I really liked what I saw in Hilary yesterday and today.  Say what you will, Hilary cares about people, she cares about children, and she cares about this country.  That my friends, is a most ginormous* step up from what we have going on right now.

*Ginormous is one of the “in” words to use for 2008, added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary for their 2007 edition.

I guess it wasn’t God after all

Apparently all of those fires in the liberal blue state of California were started by an arsonist and not God.

Well,  no worries, I’m sure that FEMA and the insurance companies will be handing out blank checks left and right to all of the rich white people in the Golden State. I’m actually surprised that re-construction efforts aren’t underway as we speak.

And the president is on his way there to survey the damage. Oh Lord.  That’s like the second coming of Christ.

The Republicans need those California votes in 2008.

Look out California, here they come.

Who’s hurt by my Domestic Partnership?

Yesterday was the deadline for Anti-Gay Rights Groups to turn in signatures that would force anti-discrimination and equal rights laws, already approved by the House and Senate and signed by the governor to go to the voters in November, 2008. The anti-gay rights groups turned in 63,000 signatures. They needed a little over 51,000, so they have a little wiggle room. How much wiggle room is the question. Reporters and bloggers from Basic Rights Oregon, BlueOregon, and The Portland Mercury, seem to agree that in order for The Haters to have enough valid signatures, 89% of the 63,000 need to be valid. If they are not, The Haters will put this on the ballot as a Citizen’s Initiative, something I don’t know a thing about.

What does this mean?

Well, it means that HG and I will have to wait eleven months longer to receive the same rights that straight couples receive automatically. We have to wait eleven months longer to receive about 500 of the civil liberties that was afforded to me automatically when I was married (to a man,) but that I don’t get being married to HG.

Why do The Haters want to prevent this? Who are we hurting by being responsible to each other and taking care of one another like (hetero) couples do? This perplexes me. I just can’t wrap my head around how this hurts anyone or how The Haters can honestly and thoughtfully think that my (healthy) relationship with HG is “less than” my (unhealthy) relationship with my former husbands.

Do the straight people even realize what they get when they say I Do? Do you?

Basic Rights Oregon has a PDF of the Top 100 Rights and Protections that HG and I will receive when the Domestic Partnership Law goes into effect.

HG and I decided we would register as Domestic Partners as soon as we are able to, but reading this list made me think about the seriousness of it all. It’s a lot of responsibility to be that integrated and tied to another person and a decision that should not be entered into lightly, and of course we haven’t. But I wondered how many straight couples really consider the legal responsibility that comes with “marriage?” I don’t think I realized it until I wasn’t married anymore. I suppose I always looked at “marriage” as something that makes you an “official couple,” not something that allowed you over 800 federal and state rights and protections under the law. Amazing how we take things for granted until we can’t have them anymore and simply the fact that my new partner is a woman instead of a man, automatically disqualifies my rights and our relationship. A bit archaic.

This has nothing to do with God. It has nothing to do with the Bible. It’s basic human legal rights. Marriage wasn’t even recognized as a sacrament by the church until the 1200’s. Prior to that, marriage and the process of marrying were put into place in our society as a means of merging families and property. Women were considered property and marriage just transferred her ownership. This is the “tradition” of marriage that The Haters are attempting to uphold? Please.

HG and I want to register as Domestic Partners. We want our relationship recognized and protected. We want to take care of each other. I believe that this is the most moral, family-value-filled, loving thing that we can do for each other. And I pray. That on January 1, 2008, we will be able to do just that.

You go girls

Let’s here one for Freedom of Speech!

I have to admit, HG and I only watched the last hour of the Grammy’s but we were able to see one of our favorite bands win two of their five awards.

Outstanding.

Only one thing . . .

What’s with the Empire waist dresses? Are they all “expecting” or did they just want to dress alike? I was confused. I don’t really keep up with my entertainment news, so I could just be out of the loop.

Besides the fashion confusion, I was delighted in their win and wholeheartedly believe that it was a huge stand on artistic freedom from the people who voted for the band. Very karmic.

Now the rest of the Grammy’s? That I watched?

I’m sorry but of the handful of acts that I saw, I almost felt like I was watching a performance in a karaoke bar, (to which I’ve seen a few. . .)

Really. Not. Good.

The girl who sang with Kami’s boyfriend though, she was pretty good. What a terrifying first gig, and she pulled it off quite well.

Love, love, love Lee’s notes on the Grammy’s.

And that’s all for RSG, Grammy Critic.

It’s Monday. I must go now to my Glamorous Waitressing Job that I detest love so much.

Ciao.