All of my Friends are Famous

My brilliant friend Teresa DiFalco has a wonderful piece in The New York Times today. It’s fabulous, as is she. The town that she writes of is the Scary Suburb that I reside. The lady who’s name she mentions teaches DD#1 piano. In a way Teresa’s piece is my one degree of separation from being published in the Times myself.

Melissa Lion is a famous author and a rising star in the world of Spoken Word. She is half of the team that is bringing Portland the awesome and delightful evenings of Back Fence PDX.

The next Back Fence PDX event will be held this Thursday, August 13th at 7:30 at Urban Grind in Portland ( 2214 NE Oregon St. I’ll be there. You should too.

My friend Stephen Marc Beaudoin is a famous columnist for the famous Gay and Lesbian news magazine Just Out. In his latest column he mentions a nice not-so-famous-but incredibly cool-family. Mine! It’s kind of sweet. Go read it!

Labor Day Weekend will be filled with fun, and Pies.

LeLo and other members of the Pie Commission have put together a Pie-Off to be held on Saturday August 30th at 3:00 p.m. in Washington Park picnic area. I will be submitting a Pie. Maybe a Key Lime Pie, perhaps a Cheesecake Pie–something with a crust that is not crusty. Hopefully it won’t be too hot. My pie could melt.

My Father is coming for a visit the weekend of the Pie-Off. We can celebrate far away relative visits and Pie–all in the same weekend.

I wonder if The New York Times will cover it? They should.

BlogHer08 Wrap Up

Yes, I could have gone with a photo from the conference. But Why? When will you ever see a picture like this again? Only if you visit the Castro in San Francisco. And that wasn’t the only weird thing LeLo and I saw in San Francisco, and I’m not talking about the queers.

We saw people dressed like bunnies and plastic butt sex toys, Bears wearing Tiaras and that was nothing compared to the BlogHer08 conference.

You think gay boys have drama?

Oh, they got nothing on the drama that 1,000 women bloggers gathered together can invoke.

Nothing.

BlogHer 2008 San Francisco!

Or better and more fondly known as the weekend I felt up a straight girl in the make-up department in Macy’s, walked 17 miles through the streets of San Francisco in heels (tipsy) and brought another straight girl back to my hotel room–to then not remember her name in the morning.

Ahhh. Blogger Conferences. To know them is to love them.

Saturday was a great day–very informative, interesting and lovely. We met some amazing people, socialized, ate, socialized, went to Break-Outs, socialized. I attended the session “Coming Out on Your Blog” which hello? I’m kind of an expert on. The live blogging from that session is here. I have to say that I found the session just a tad bit confusing. The panel members were there as apparent bloggers who were open on their blog–but when they were asked questions they revealed a very different circumstance. They spoke of hiding their blogs from family members and employers, blocking IP’s when they found out someone they knew was reading, using aliases, and having private, user-only blogs for revealing personal information. If all of that is “Coming Out” on your blog–I’d hate to see what “Blogging in the Closet” is about.

I gave a comment. I revealed that when I started writing RSG I was quite secretive about it. I used an alias (RSG) i used aliases for my children (I still do) I’ve never said what town I live in but still a whole variety of people have found this site.

My Mother, My Ex-Husband, His Friends, Old Friends from High School, and My Wife’s Ex-Girlfriend. I’m sure there is a whole host of people who have probably read and not said anything. “Hi there! Don’t be shy, I know you’re reading, welcome one and all, gay and straight, and all the people that HG and I have slept with!!!”

For me I got to a place in my Blogging Life quite a while ago where I just decided to live my truth. It’s how I live my Real Life and it’s how I live my Online Life. I’ve stopped keeping my identity private and have slowly merged my online life with real life in most ways. The Internet is only a scary place if you are involved with scary things. There are no boogy-men lurking around every corner–I’ve been blogging a long time and have never met a weirdo. Hell, there are weirder people living in the Scary Suburbs and way more dangerous.

But I digress.

Later, LeLo and I went to the Queer Blogger Meet-Up and let me tell all of you Queer Bloggers out there in the Blogosphere who may have missed it–

You didn’t miss anything.

It was the most bizzarre experience of my entire weekend and up there with one of the most uncomfortable 20 minutes of my life (I didn’t stay through the end–I HAD to leave.) It was not about meeting other Queer Bloggers at BlogHer–it was about listening to the group moderator and her partner talk about themselves, their life, their blogs, the state of their “closet”, how they are NOT getting married in California. She also asked if we thought the lesbian blogs on BlogHer should be written as to “not offend the straight people.” I said that straight people offend me every single day so, uh—No. It was weird. And not in a Queer way.

So then we went to the Final Keynote which I mentioned in my most previous post. Since that time I got a little more gossip information and have fallen in love with Jenny, The Blogess just a little bit for standing up to the High and Mighty Dooce and all of her Six Foot Amazon-ness. I think this blogger says everything I would like to say. Dooce can suck it. Except that she’s too tall. She’d have to bend over. And just because I just can’t let this die just yet, (you should SEE my stat-counter for people searching for this stuff) I must re-print (with my permission) Melissa Lion’s comment to a “Dooche Defender” named Anna who accused me and everyone else who doesn’t care for Dooce “jealous” because Dooche makes money at blogging.

Anna, so when someone makes a lot of money doing something, then they’re entitled to treat people like shit? And we should all check out reactions to her behaving like a douchebag because she makes a lot of money at it? Or because she’s some sort of pioneer of blogging about the minutia of her personal life as a bourgeois basket case who has no ability to recognize how good she has it and instead shits on the very people who make it possible? We, as bloggers, owe her something, is that right? How much do we owe? Because it seems like she’s taking all she can and then some.

Did I mention I also took in a session about Positive Posting? I did, and I loved it and yes I know that wasn’t the most positive thing but It Needed To Be Said.

Okay I’m finished.

Speaking of Boobs.

Whilst at the BlogHer08 Conference I had my make-up did by the Bare Escentuals ladies from Macy’s and because she was hot the make-up is really good for your skin I bought it. All of it. I had to pick it up later that night at our Farewell Cocktail Party at the store. Have you ever been to the Macy’s in San Francisco? It’s like the size of my home-town. Our party was a “progressive party” but not Progressive like Progressive. It meant it moved or “progressed” from place to place. We partied in the shoe and pantyhose department, in the lingerie department and in the furniture department. I hung out with this lady. We got into a little trouble together (when we weren’t looking for the bathroom that is.) We licked the legs of mannequins, sniffed panties, and got in a confrontation with the K-Y Jelly Lady about their gender specific lube. I wanted to know if HG and I used this lube, which one of us was to be the guy? It was a fair question I thought.

The K-Y Jelly Lady was not amused. LeLo’s Photos of the event are here.

I also held a $750.00 shoe. WHO buys shoes that are $750.00?

Back to the Boobs.

So after the party, I ran down to the cosmetic section after accosting Tricia to accompany me to retrieve my two thousand dollars worth of Bare Escentuals. While waiting I noticed the lady in front of me. Well, actually I noticed her earlier in the evening. Most especially I noticed her boobs. They were fantastic. So I told her so. (Open bar you know.)

She replied, “Thanks! I had them done.”

“Wow,” I said, “They are fabulous.” Pause. “If it wasn’t rude, I’d ask to feel them.”

“GO AHEAD!” she said

I look at Tricia.

She raises her eyebrows and gives me that nod because you know that secretly she wanted to feel them but was too chicken (of her wife killing her.)

So I did.

Feel them.

They really were amazing.

Mommy Bloggers=H. O. T.

Later we met up with Fivestar and another Mommy Blogger et. al to go out to Martuni’s for a cocktail or two. Can I just tell you that I had the most delicious Lemondrop made with Blueberry Vodka I have ever had? It was heaven.

After Martuni’s we went to a very classy place for breakfast where the above mentioned Mommy Blogger realized that she was not going to make her train to get home. We offered for her to stay with us in our hotel room. I had to talk to her husband Brad on the phone to assure him that I was not a serial killer–just a crazy drunk lesbian. For some reason–Brad was okay with this?

Upon leaving the restaurant we couldn’t find a cab so we did the only reasonable thing and WALKED to our hotel.

17 miles.

I was wearing heels.

LeLo was wearing heels.

It wasn’t pretty.

Tricia, who is the nicest person in the entire planet took off her shoes and gave them to LeLo who was getting blisters on the bottom of her feet. Tricia. Walked. Barefoot. Through the streets of San Francisco.

We will be erecting a statue in her honor at the next conference.

When we returned to our hotel room. I slept with a straight girl. A Mommy-Blogger-Straight-Girl. In San Francisco.

Albeit only sleep. It still sounds good. In a dirty kind of way.

The next morning I couldn’t remember her name, but I have on good authority she couldn’t remember mine either. She did offer me money the next morning. I’m not really sure why because I took a Trazedone that night before going to bed. I declined, but definitely considered it for a moment–and wondered what I did to deserve it.

On Sunday, LeLo and I had free time before going to the airport so we explored a bit. It was super fun and I have photos to prove it here.

Since returning home I have been slowly recovering.

Very slowly.

Categorizing all the information and storing it away. Visiting the sites of my new friends and already thinking about next year’s conference.

I really, really, REALLY think that Limpy needs to join us.

Bites For Rights Tag

Bryan at Gay Rights Watch tagged me for a meme of sorts–and of course I’ll play along!

This Thursday, June 19th is Bites for Rights–where participating Portland restaurants will donate 15% of their sales for the day to Basic Rights Oregon. Bryan wants to know what restaurants I will be frequenting that day and pass on the question to other Portland peeps. It just so happens that I will be spending the day downtown that day for a variety of events–so Bites for Rights was perfectly planned around my schedule (thanks BRO.)

The girls will be with me for part of the day, so on our way downtown we will stop at Pastini Pasteria for an early lunch. It’s not far from our house and is conveniently located. After that we will HAVE to go to Cupcake Jones. The girls could stay here all day–an entire establishment, centered around cupcakes? It’s like heaven, only without that guy at the gate with the book.

After I drop the girls off at home I would like to go to Mint/820 for an early happy hour/dinner.

Later I will be attending Back Fence PDX and after that–perhaps HG and I could stop for dessert on our way home at Dessert Noir.

I should probably stop eating now to prepare.

HG and I are always interested in frequenting gay friendly and gay owned establishments and this is a fabulous way to “vote with your dollar” as LeLo says. It’s for a great cause and we will be getting something back as well (cupcakes and cocktails, hello? And how fun it was to go through the list of restaurants and plan my meals around my errands and meetings for the day.

So to keep the word alive–I will tag some people. You go through the list and choose where you would like to go on Thursday, and maybe we’ll see each other?

I tag:

LeLo, Mossie, SMB, Wendy

Attn: John McCain. Please Stop Calling Me.

Why is John McCain calling my house every other day? He never leaves a message he just lets the phone ring a few times and hangs up. I see it on my caller ID and I get anxious. What does he want? Is he drunk dialing me or something, is that why he never says anything? Does he just get nervous about calling and hang up before I answer.

John–Stop Calling Me! I am not voting for you, I don’t even like you. I’m a progressive-liberal-feminist-democrat. You and I are not friends–not on Twiiter, not on Facebook, not on MySpace, and not in real ife. Knock it off.

New theme over here. It’s very flowery and I like it. I borrowed the idea from someone’s blog but I don’t remember who–if it’s you–thanks, let’s be Blog Theme Sisters!

We’ve worked out some of the technical difficulties on this flowery blog (and when I say we, I mean Annette who is the tech support QUEEN at HostingMatters.com and one of my favorite people in the world.) My e-mail is working again–you can e-mail me here. I have one more technical difficulty and that is getting rid of that nasty message from Google that my site is extremely dangerous to everyone, especially women and children. I promise, this blog site does not sleep around–and it has no viruses. Clean. Promise.

If anyone would like to help me with that. Let me know. I’ll send you cookies or take you out for a beer–depending on if you’re in a program or not. (I am NOT an enabler.)

HG and I were going to go camping this weekend but it is raining and like 40 degrees. Those of you who do not live in the Pacific NW may find this unusual but those of us who live here are quite aware that this is pretty typical June weather. I am looking forward to the 5th of July, which is when our summer officially begins. Less than a month to go and out come the flip flops, tank tops, sunglasses and fun!

Well, except for the fact that according to some completely crazy whacko religious people the world is ending on June 12th. Mark your calendars just in case they are correct.

Until then, live well–you never know!

PS All of my comments are black–as in blacked out–I am investigating.

It’s hard to stay focused when I’m so co-dependent

The ladies at Back Fence PDX were nice enough to ask me to write a post for them. I did. It’s here.

The Portland Mercury comes out tomorrow. Pick up a copy, I may have something in there.

Today my friend Jeff and his most beautiful baby in the whole entire world took me out for lunch. I had Indian food, (like Indian-Indian, not Native American-Indian.) I never had it before, I had no idea what I was eating, but it was very, very good.

I’m doing mad amounts of homework and writing my final research paper on “The Lack of Marriage Equality and its Effect on Children in Oregon” (it’s a long-ass name, I know,) but I can’t stay focused because I am obsessed with my Twitter and my Facebook.

I could possibly be co-dependent on Twitter and Facebook–or maybe Twitter and Facebook are enabling me to not concentrate on my homework. I’ll have to work that out in therapy–after my school term is over.

Oh look at that–someone wants to be my Facebook friend!

Me Me Me Me Me Me Me

I’ve been tagged for a Meme by the lovely Wacky Mommy.

Meme’s are pronounced meems, but I like to pronounce them Me Me’s because Meme’s like these are all about ME!

1. What were you doing ten years ago?

I was pregnant with DD#3 and trying to figure out exactly how I got that way. DD#2 was just 13 months old, DD#1 was three and I was COMPLETELY CRAZY!

2. What are five things on your To-Do list?

• Pay bills
• Write the second part of my research paper
• Study for my final
• Buy new underwear
• Spend as much as possibly kissing my wife for the rest of the weekend!

3. What are five snacks you enjoy?

Peanut M&M’s, Red Vines, cheese and crackers, chips and salsa, HG.

4. Name some place where you have lived.

Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Florida, Connecticut, Washington, Oregon.

5. Name some bad habits you have.

None.

Really, I have no bad habits.

Okay, let me try to think of some.

I leave glasses of water next to my bed for days on end. I don’t always fold the laundry as soon as it’s done drying, nor do I put it away (I like to see the pile on top of the dryer,) I spend WAY too much time on my computer, on the Internet, reading blogs, twittering. I don’t exercise enough, I eat too much sugar, sometimes I skip flossing, I procrastinate. I break down and cry when I’m PMS’ing, as well as get a little teeny bit cranky. Did I mention I procrastinate?

6. Name some things that you would do if you were a millionaire?

Pre-pay for my girl’s college, start a charitable foundation, buy a Highlander Hybrid, travel a bit, save and invest the rest.

7. Name some jobs that you have had.

waitress, flight attendant, wedding coordinator’s assistant, restaurant manager, homemaker, mom, freelance writer.

I’m not going to tag anyone because I’m lazy. But feel free to do your own Me Me Me Me Me Me!

Blogging Block

I don’t have that because even if I did I wouldn’t say it or write it out loud because then it could possibly self-actualize.  I’ve just been busy.  Yes.  Busy.  Very Busy.  Busy doing what?  I will tell you.

Last Thursday I had some excruciatingly painful gynecological procedures done by my friend’s sister (who happens to be a Gynecologist.)  The procedures involved an Endometrial Biopsy which appears (to my wife who was watching anyway) to resemble Liposuction of the Uterus.

I don’t recommend it, not even for the Vicodin you get.

And since she was already through my cervix and IN my uterus, she went ahead and put in that Mirena IUD, which will hopefully–no, will–eliminate my visits from Aunt Flo for the rest of my childbearing life.

On Friday– Kevin, The Guy Who Gets Bird’s Nests Out of Microwave Exhaust Vents came over to do just that job.  By Friday evening–the bird moved right back in.  HG cleaned out the nest again (because now I knew how to do it after watching Kevin) and by Sunday, that bird was back again.  So we went to the Homo Depot and bought a huge roll of wire to clog up the bird’s entrance to my house.  It only came in one size–a huge roll–so if anyone needs some wire, let me know, as I have enough for the entire free world’s microwave exhaust holes.

Saturday HG wanted to go to The Hotel Oregon in McMinnville.  They have a rooftop bar and since it was 117 degrees on Saturday, HG thought it would be a fun time to sit on a roof–in the sun.  Since I don’t burn and don’t need sunscreen, I agreed.  Unbeknownst  to us, The Hotel Oregon and the town of McMinnville is host to the annual UFO Festival which happened to be held–this past weekend.  Imagine our surprise when we were greeted by strange looking, strangely dressed UFO enthusiasts whilst we attempted to sip micro-brews and eat Cajun Tater Tots.

And I was without my camera.

Next year, I will be wearing a hat made of tin foil with my BIG FOOT LIVES t-shirt.  Go ahead and click here to get on their mailing list.  Come on, you know you want to.

On Sunday HG and I went to the Multnomah County Library to see our good, good friend LeLo in NoPo give a talk about blogging.  As per her usual–she was amazing and dynamic and articulate and interesting and of course lovely.  The fact that it was a beautiful, rare and sunny May day AND that she was competing with Barack Obama–she had a good turn out.  Afterward we went to LeLo and AdRi’s house for a wonderful BBQ and slushies!  AdRi is a fantastic grill-er and LeLo makes a mean slushie-it was the perfect end to a wonderful weekend.

This week?

I have mad deadlines for school, for work, and for home.  Preparing for a Big Lesbian Camping Trip this weekend, almost the end of my school term, and all that other stuff with kids and what not.

See, I don’t have Blogging Block–I’ve just been busy.

Testing, Testing, Oh God Help Me

I just updated to Wordpress 2.5 and I’m scared of all of the new things.  And something seems to be wrong with my link button.

I also changed my template.  If some of you could please do me a favor and try to leave a comment to see if it works, I’ve had trouble before.  If for some reason it doesn’t work, please let me know by e-mail (rsg at this domain name dot com.)

I can’t like change in my blog life.

Couples Meme

Almost all of the blogs that I read who are written by lesbians have done this Meme. I feel as though I am a bad lesbian blogger if I don’t participate as well, and yes if everyone jumped off a bridge, I probably would too.

1. How long have you been together? Two years, Two months, 28 Days.

2. Who pursued who? I don’t think either of us pursued the other–it was all pretty simple. We met, got together, had amazing sex and the rest was history.

3. Do you wear any type of wedding/commitment ring? I have a big fat emerald cut diamond surrounded by lots of little diamonds and diamonds on either side because I’m very, very spoiled. HG wears this ring that I bought for her. She picked it out.

4. What was the hardest thing about learning to live together? HG did not have children when we moved in together. I had three. Children come with massive amounts of stuff and busy schedules and on occasion make messes like dropping their book bags and shoes all over the foyer and not cleaning up after themselves or making their beds every day. They are also loud and quite ego-centric at times. This was all an adjustment of monumental proportions.

5. Who takes longer to get ready in the morning? Amazingly for a woman who does not wear make-up, HG takes longer to get ready. But I procrastinate more so usually we are ready at the same time or she is ready before me because instead of getting in the shower, I’m reading blogs or answering e-mail or doing something else that takes away from my task.

6. Do you usually eat breakfast together? Only if we’re on vacation, eat out at a restaurant or occasionally on the weekend.

7. Do you ever share clothes? Sometimes. HG is one size bigger than I am in pants and she’s taller. Shirts and sweatshirts, yes.

8. Who does most of the cooking? I do nearly all of the cooking–she takes me out to restaurants anytime I want.

9. Who usually takes out the trash? We both take the trash out to the big trash can. Usually HG is in charge of rolling that big trash can down to the curb on Thursday nights but HG is the only one who remembers to put out the glass recycling once a month. If it were up to me, we’d have 17 bins of wine bottles in the garage and I would finally have to haul it to the Recycle center myself looking like a suburban alcoholic whine-o.

10. If you have pets, who usually does litter box or poop patrol? I am all the time outside picking up after the dogs. Oh, that’s a big fat lie. HG takes care of all things outside, including the dog poop. I’ll do it on occasion but only if I want something and I’m trying to score brownie points.

11. Which one of you is more likely to answer the phone when it rings? DD#2.

12. Who’s in charge of the remote if you’re watching TV together? HG and it’s always on some show about killers or criminals or else something to do with killing criminals.

13. Who usually drives when you go out together? We both hate to drive around town. Usually I drive there and she drives back because I complain. On long trips–HG drives. I’m not really a very good driver and I’m a much worse navigator but for some reason if we’re trying to find some place, she will listen to where I tell her to go even though I preface it by saying,”I’m not really sure and I have such a terrible sense of direction,” –still she listens.

14. Which one of you takes care of spiders and bugs that get into the house? We don’t have bugs in our house. That’s disgusting and wrong–just wrong.

15. Facing the bed, who sleeps on which side? I’m in the middle. She’s on the right. Ginger is snuggled on the other side of HG and she can’t move all night.

16. Who usually checks the (postal) mailbox? We are bad about getting the post. Usually I check it or I make the kids get it.

17. If something breaks or goes wrong in the house, which one of you is more likely to either fix it or call someone to fix it? If it’s something that can be fixed, HG will fix it. If it’s something that needs to be called about, usually I make the phone calls.

18. is generally the neater of you? We are both neat but things bother me less than they bother HG. I can let things go a lot more easily if I have something better to do–her, not so much.

19. Who handles the checkbook/pays the bills? She pays the mortgage, I pay everything else and manage our household money. I also do all of the shopping and handle that part. I never buy things that aren’t on sale. If HG goes to the store and buys something (even milk or bread,) I ask “Was it on sale?” She has learned to lie to me and say “Yes, it was on sale.” I know that she is lying but it the lie makes me feel much better.

20. What was your last fight/disagreement about? She wasn’t putting out for me as often as I would like. (Okay, that’s a lie–she puts out anytime I want, but I don’t remember what we last fought about–I guess it was important?)

21. When you slow dance together, who leads? She does–she’s taller–but it requires a lot of concentration on my part–I prefer to lead because I’m bossy that way.

22. What do you love the most about your other half? Clearly I’ve already answered these questions: she puts out for me anytime I want, buys me diamonds, and takes me out to dinner. Hello?

Something to ponder

It’s Friday.  It’s raining.  And I’m off to school.  But before I go, I must leave something out there in the Blogging universe to ponder.

Bloggers.  We all are part of a community.  A culture.  The Culture of Bloggers–I wrote a paper on it last term.  Got an A.

We intertwine with less degrees than six.  We share each other’s heart-break and good times, we network, we give each other leads for jobs or writing/blogging gigs or opportunities–we’re friends or friend-ly.  Some of us share our city and cultures beyond just blogging.  Some of us meet and have lunch or coffee or hang out (or at least would like that if time permitted.) Some of us visit when we are in each other’s cities.

We are a community.

It’s a powerful community.

But there is something important to remember.  We are not just words on a screen, we are not just a post or a picture or an IM or and e-mail.  On the other side of those words, on the other side of that monitor, linked by the bandwidth that separates us–are people.  Human people with human feelings who have deep passions and pain, and empathy and joy.  Human people who are doing their best in the world.  Human people who can be harmed deeply by insensitive words or words said with the intent to cause pain.  Human people who feel that pain and feel the black spot on their day from negativity being spewed about them or something they believe in.

No one deserves to be mis-treated.  No one deserves to have hateful things said about them in any forum and no one deserves to be betrayed by their friends–internet friends or otherwise.

We all have a great gift, this community.  And great power.  Great power and great gifts come with a responsibility.  People are gifts and we all have a responsibility to honor and cherish that gift of people and use our power for goodness,

not evil.

Be kind.  Be considerate.  Be polite. Be loyal. Hold yourself to the same standards (or higher) that you would hold anyone else. Must most of all–Be Good To Each Other.  What a gift we all have of each other.  Cherish that gift.