1. liz taylor Said,

   I loved the 12 steps of a recovering…

   BUT WHAT DOES mmkay mean…???

   I am recovering (20 yrs. AA) too..YOU’RE FABULOUS, LOVE THE HAIR CUT, BTW. Liz

2. Kellie Said,

   Do you think perhaps the name “recovering straight girl” doesn’t really describe who or what you are? I assume it’s a play on words, right–a play on “recovering alcoholic” (or “recovering drug addict” or “recovering shopaholic,” etc.)?

   If so, shouldn’t you be a “recovering lesbian”? I mean, a recovering alcoholic is someone who defines herself as an alcoholic but is struggling *not* to drink. “I’ve been a recovering alcoholic for 5 years now,” for example, means “I’ve got a drinking problem, I am an alcoholic, but I have not had a drink/been drunk in 5 years.” The “alcoholic” part of the “recovering alcoholic” pairing means the person is, deep down, an alcoholic.

   So in effect it seems you’re calling yourself a straight girl, not a lesbian.

   Just wondering what you think.

   Oh, and while I’m writing, I’m also curious if you think the whole “thanks be to al gore” thing has sort of run its course.

3. Recovering Straight Girl Said,

   Kellie: I would say that I can call myself whatever I want and no I don’t think I’m a recovering lesbian. I think I was always a lesbian, I’m recovering from living a straight life, hence “recovering straight girl.” It is a play on words, not unlike a “Recovering Catholic” or “Recovering Mormon” or “Recovering from Cancer.”

   I think that this is my blog and I can write anything I want and if I want to write “Thanks Be To Al Gore” on every post then that is my prerogative.

4. syd Said,

   I think I had something to say. But, I’m too busy LOL at RSG’s feisty little self right now.

5. Tracy Said,

   Did you fall in love with a woman first or did you have homosexual thoughts and fantasies first ?? In other words were the thoughts there before you had an actual person in mind. 2nd, I’m an out lesbian with a crush on someone who I know is living a straight life but my gaydar and our eye contact says there may be something there - she is hot and in my dreams - we work for the same company but not together - any advice on how I can strike up a friendship so that she can be a recovering straight girl one day as well -

6. Allison Fitch Said,

   Dear RSG,
   I have been reading your blog ( kind of obsessively) for the last six weeks or so. Wow, it has been truly amazing to read through all of your archives. Your posts have been so eloquent and I have been moved by your trials and triumphs. I actually cried when I read you had gone back to school. I ‘m so proud of you and I don’t even know you! I have been silently cheering you on and I finally just had to write after your most recent post. At present , I don’t have much of a life (new to Portland, 45, recovering straight girl like you) but you inspire me, RSG. You and the lovely HG and your beautiful DD’s (that sounds weird but you know what I mean). I don’t mean to gush, but I haven’t been inspired in a very long time. I guess that I feel like maybe I have a shot at happiness, too. I started a blog although I don’t really know what I’m doing ( not very computer literate).
   In any case, I just had to let you know that your writing has made a significant impact in my life.
   Thank you RSG, you are amazing.

7. Beecharmer Said,

   RSG- I couldn’t find your “contact me” link.
   Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to you and yours.
   Sorry to hear of your ex-marital/lawyer/judgement troubles.
   Congrats on getting back to school, I’ve decided my break has been long enough and I will be returning in January.
   Again Happy Holidays!
   Kelly

8. Sarah Said,

   Okay, I stumbled over your site while looking online for some advice. I’m 21 years old and I see that you have some children, yet aren’t too much older than I am, so maybe you can see my issues from multiple angles. I really do need some good advice. Here’s the deal…Okay, let me just say that I’ve been looking online for some serious advice. I’m straight…and have dated guys all my life. I’m 21 years old, and the last guys I was with lasted about 2 years and I was positive he was exactly what I wanted and who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Just recently our relationship has fallen apart…without any big problems or arguements, really, just that we are over and hour away from each other and until I finish my undergrad (I have a little over a year left) I won’t be living in that area (I’ll be going there for graduate school). I put in the effort it took and was willing to continue, but evidently, he was too caught up with life and needed more. He’s now dating someone else, and I’m still in love with him…BUT a little over a month ago, I met a gay girl through one of my friends and immediately I thought she was funny and nice. We both stayed in my friend’s room that night and we kinda hit it off. She was very open about how she felt towards me and although I emphasized that I was straight, she didn’t mind, and I felt myself oddly attracted to her. We’ve been talking ever since then, and I’ve tried to be more open with my thoughts on a relationship. She’s very much in love with me, and i DO love her…I’m just having a hard time coming to terms with and accepting all of this when I’m not interested or attracted to any other girls, so I know I’m striaght (or bi at this point…) but, I want to know if i’m most likely wasting my time in a whim of a relationship that I may not allow to last, or if over time I can overcome my past ideals and societies acceptance, and be happy living my life with her? I’m not sure what to do or think about this and am seeking some help and advice from other girls…straight, bi, or gay…that can help me out at all.
   I’ve formed quite a friendship and love for this girl, and don’t want to be tricking her or myself and hurt her in the long run. I look forward to hearing from you.

   Because I’m seeking advice and someone to talk to about this situation from all sides, I’ll go ahead and give my e-mail, because I’d like to hear from whoever is interested in helping me out. It’s sarahaddison05@hotmail.com. (TO ALL THOSE WHO SEE MY E-MAIL: Please don’t send me junk if you’re going to e-mail me, I really am just looking for some good advice.)

9. GG Said,

   This is not an “ask RSG”, but to let you know that you have been nominated for “Lesbian Blog of the Year” on The Lesbian Lifestyle.

   Keep it up!

   GG

10. Lesbian Said,

    So are you still married, going through a divorce or divorced?

11. Lesbian too Said,

    How did you deal with first coming out to your kids friends parents? That is the issue I am dealing with now. They are just getting over the fact that I am divorcing my husband.. They have no idea what to say when I tell them I am divorced. Now..to tell them I am dating a woman???? HELP ME PLEASE>>>

12. Brenda Said,

    I just found your blog (I googled “Be the Change”) and like your writing a lot. I was inspired to reply after reading your statement “Please comment, it makes my day, (unless you say something mean, then I’ll just be pissed off and irritated.)” I’m including a little from my experience, you probably know about all this but feel free to use my words, edit, or delete them as you wish.

    I’m working on ways to avoid reacting to mean statements as you described, perhaps some day I’ll succeed completely. Self help books from the 80s told me that I was giving away my “power” when I “let” someone else’s statements piss me off. The visceral reaction I have when mean statements come my way is real, the 80s philosophy isn’t the whole picture. A few years ago I heard a talk at my kids’ school by the 6 Seconds folks, http://www.6seconds.org/ and I think I have a bit more insight into it after that. For me, writing (journaling, writing email that I might or might not send) didn’t work and took a lot of time, sometimes causing me to dwell on the issue longer than I would otherwise.

    It looks like people turn to you for information, including “what do I tell the kids?” questions. A resource worth mentioning is the liberal religious church I have attended for over 20 years.
    I am part of a Unitarian Universalist community. Like other UU communities, we welcome and encourage couples, families and singles no matter who they love. I also teach OWL, sexuality classes we hold for middle school and high school students. The classes are about 60 hours long over 3 months. It is a well developed curriculum with fun discussions/skits/games/very little lecture. Topics include relationships, negotiating, gender identity, as well as the stuff many other classes try to cover (STDs, anatomy, pregnancy). We’re trying to give students good information so they can figure things out for themselves, with the help of their families, in an accepting environment. I started teaching it this year after the great experience my middle school daughter had when she went through it.

    I like your “Thanks be to Al Gore”. I admire the man. I recently read his new book “Assault on Reason” (listened to it in the car while commuting). I greatly appreciate his working for change and doing what he can to be a positive influence on the world. I think you’re doing that too by being a positive voice with a sense of humor. Thanks for your thoughtful writing.
    Brenda

13. KittyLitter Said,

    You have a fabulous far and wide following. Would you ever consider in your writings, touching on the plight of bi-national couples? My wife’s visa was not extended as had been promised, now she and our two children (4 and 9 months) must leave the country. We have a new business here so I must stay, at least a couple years till I can sell it. What we find is amazing is everyone we tell responds with…”Why don’t you get married and sponsor her?”Not just straight people..at a tableful of dykes in P-town not ONE understood that immigration is Federal Jurisdiction…doesnt matter if every state in the union recognizes our relationship, until the feds do we can not be together in this country. I would love for some mighty bloggers to touch on this subject.
    Thanks
    Soozi (who began her RSG journey at 43 after 19 years of marriage)

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