Ask RSG
Jul 13th, 2006 by Recovering Straight Girl
From time to time, okay all of the time, I receive an e-mail from someone who is also a Recovering Straight Girl.
It seems that I was mistaken, I wasn’t the only woman who was married and seemingly straight who fell in love with pussy.
Oftentimes, these said women will ask me a question on how I dealt with a particular issue that may have come up. I try to answer their questions here, on my site, in the RSG category. I may not always give the “right” answer, but I answer as truthfully and honestly as possible.
If you would like me to address an Ask RSG question, you can e-mail me at:
AskRSG at Recoveringstraightgirl dot com or
RSG at recoveringstraightgirl dot com
I will change identity if you request, as well as where you live. If you don’t like my answer, sorry.
I loved the 12 steps of a recovering…
BUT WHAT DOES mmkay mean…???
I am recovering (20 yrs. AA) too..YOU’RE FABULOUS, LOVE THE HAIR CUT, BTW. Liz
Do you think perhaps the name “recovering straight girl” doesn’t really describe who or what you are? I assume it’s a play on words, right–a play on “recovering alcoholic” (or “recovering drug addict” or “recovering shopaholic,” etc.)?
If so, shouldn’t you be a “recovering lesbian”? I mean, a recovering alcoholic is someone who defines herself as an alcoholic but is struggling *not* to drink. “I’ve been a recovering alcoholic for 5 years now,” for example, means “I’ve got a drinking problem, I am an alcoholic, but I have not had a drink/been drunk in 5 years.” The “alcoholic” part of the “recovering alcoholic” pairing means the person is, deep down, an alcoholic.
So in effect it seems you’re calling yourself a straight girl, not a lesbian.
Just wondering what you think.
Oh, and while I’m writing, I’m also curious if you think the whole “thanks be to al gore” thing has sort of run its course.
Kellie: I would say that I can call myself whatever I want and no I don’t think I’m a recovering lesbian. I think I was always a lesbian, I’m recovering from living a straight life, hence “recovering straight girl.” It is a play on words, not unlike a “Recovering Catholic” or “Recovering Mormon” or “Recovering from Cancer.”
I think that this is my blog and I can write anything I want and if I want to write “Thanks Be To Al Gore” on every post then that is my prerogative.
I think I had something to say. But, I’m too busy LOL at RSG’s feisty little self right now.
Did you fall in love with a woman first or did you have homosexual thoughts and fantasies first ?? In other words were the thoughts there before you had an actual person in mind. 2nd, I’m an out lesbian with a crush on someone who I know is living a straight life but my gaydar and our eye contact says there may be something there - she is hot and in my dreams - we work for the same company but not together - any advice on how I can strike up a friendship so that she can be a recovering straight girl one day as well -
Dear RSG,
I have been reading your blog ( kind of obsessively) for the last six weeks or so. Wow, it has been truly amazing to read through all of your archives. Your posts have been so eloquent and I have been moved by your trials and triumphs. I actually cried when I read you had gone back to school. I ‘m so proud of you and I don’t even know you! I have been silently cheering you on and I finally just had to write after your most recent post. At present , I don’t have much of a life (new to Portland, 45, recovering straight girl like you) but you inspire me, RSG. You and the lovely HG and your beautiful DD’s (that sounds weird but you know what I mean). I don’t mean to gush, but I haven’t been inspired in a very long time. I guess that I feel like maybe I have a shot at happiness, too. I started a blog although I don’t really know what I’m doing ( not very computer literate).
In any case, I just had to let you know that your writing has made a significant impact in my life.
Thank you RSG, you are amazing.
RSG- I couldn’t find your “contact me” link.
Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Sorry to hear of your ex-marital/lawyer/judgement troubles.
Congrats on getting back to school, I’ve decided my break has been long enough and I will be returning in January.
Again Happy Holidays!
Kelly
Okay, I stumbled over your site while looking online for some advice. I’m 21 years old and I see that you have some children, yet aren’t too much older than I am, so maybe you can see my issues from multiple angles. I really do need some good advice. Here’s the deal…Okay, let me just say that I’ve been looking online for some serious advice. I’m straight…and have dated guys all my life. I’m 21 years old, and the last guys I was with lasted about 2 years and I was positive he was exactly what I wanted and who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Just recently our relationship has fallen apart…without any big problems or arguements, really, just that we are over and hour away from each other and until I finish my undergrad (I have a little over a year left) I won’t be living in that area (I’ll be going there for graduate school). I put in the effort it took and was willing to continue, but evidently, he was too caught up with life and needed more. He’s now dating someone else, and I’m still in love with him…BUT a little over a month ago, I met a gay girl through one of my friends and immediately I thought she was funny and nice. We both stayed in my friend’s room that night and we kinda hit it off. She was very open about how she felt towards me and although I emphasized that I was straight, she didn’t mind, and I felt myself oddly attracted to her. We’ve been talking ever since then, and I’ve tried to be more open with my thoughts on a relationship. She’s very much in love with me, and i DO love her…I’m just having a hard time coming to terms with and accepting all of this when I’m not interested or attracted to any other girls, so I know I’m striaght (or bi at this point…) but, I want to know if i’m most likely wasting my time in a whim of a relationship that I may not allow to last, or if over time I can overcome my past ideals and societies acceptance, and be happy living my life with her? I’m not sure what to do or think about this and am seeking some help and advice from other girls…straight, bi, or gay…that can help me out at all.
I’ve formed quite a friendship and love for this girl, and don’t want to be tricking her or myself and hurt her in the long run. I look forward to hearing from you.
Because I’m seeking advice and someone to talk to about this situation from all sides, I’ll go ahead and give my e-mail, because I’d like to hear from whoever is interested in helping me out. It’s sarahaddison05@hotmail.com. (TO ALL THOSE WHO SEE MY E-MAIL: Please don’t send me junk if you’re going to e-mail me, I really am just looking for some good advice.)
This is not an “ask RSG”, but to let you know that you have been nominated for “Lesbian Blog of the Year” on The Lesbian Lifestyle.
Keep it up!
GG
So are you still married, going through a divorce or divorced?
How did you deal with first coming out to your kids friends parents? That is the issue I am dealing with now. They are just getting over the fact that I am divorcing my husband.. They have no idea what to say when I tell them I am divorced. Now..to tell them I am dating a woman???? HELP ME PLEASE>>>