BlogHer08 Wrap Up

Posted under BlogHer, Blogging by Recovering Straight Girl

Yes, I could have gone with a photo from the conference. But Why? When will you ever see a picture like this again? Only if you visit the Castro in San Francisco. And that wasn’t the only weird thing LeLo and I saw in San Francisco, and I’m not talking about the queers.

We saw people dressed like bunnies and plastic butt sex toys, Bears wearing Tiaras and that was nothing compared to the BlogHer08 conference.

You think gay boys have drama?

Oh, they got nothing on the drama that 1,000 women bloggers gathered together can invoke.

Nothing.

BlogHer 2008 San Francisco!

Or better and more fondly known as the weekend I felt up a straight girl in the make-up department in Macy’s, walked 17 miles through the streets of San Francisco in heels (tipsy) and brought another straight girl back to my hotel room–to then not remember her name in the morning.

Ahhh. Blogger Conferences. To know them is to love them.

Saturday was a great day–very informative, interesting and lovely. We met some amazing people, socialized, ate, socialized, went to Break-Outs, socialized. I attended the session “Coming Out on Your Blog” which hello? I’m kind of an expert on. The live blogging from that session is here. I have to say that I found the session just a tad bit confusing. The panel members were there as apparent bloggers who were open on their blog–but when they were asked questions they revealed a very different circumstance. They spoke of hiding their blogs from family members and employers, blocking IP’s when they found out someone they knew was reading, using aliases, and having private, user-only blogs for revealing personal information. If all of that is “Coming Out” on your blog–I’d hate to see what “Blogging in the Closet” is about.

I gave a comment. I revealed that when I started writing RSG I was quite secretive about it. I used an alias (RSG) i used aliases for my children (I still do) I’ve never said what town I live in but still a whole variety of people have found this site.

My Mother, My Ex-Husband, His Friends, Old Friends from High School, and My Wife’s Ex-Girlfriend. I’m sure there is a whole host of people who have probably read and not said anything. “Hi there! Don’t be shy, I know you’re reading, welcome one and all, gay and straight, and all the people that HG and I have slept with!!!”

For me I got to a place in my Blogging Life quite a while ago where I just decided to live my truth. It’s how I live my Real Life and it’s how I live my Online Life. I’ve stopped keeping my identity private and have slowly merged my online life with real life in most ways. The Internet is only a scary place if you are involved with scary things. There are no boogy-men lurking around every corner–I’ve been blogging a long time and have never met a weirdo. Hell, there are weirder people living in the Scary Suburbs and way more dangerous.

But I digress.

Later, LeLo and I went to the Queer Blogger Meet-Up and let me tell all of you Queer Bloggers out there in the Blogosphere who may have missed it–

You didn’t miss anything.

It was the most bizzarre experience of my entire weekend and up there with one of the most uncomfortable 20 minutes of my life (I didn’t stay through the end–I HAD to leave.) It was not about meeting other Queer Bloggers at BlogHer–it was about listening to the group moderator and her partner talk about themselves, their life, their blogs, the state of their “closet”, how they are NOT getting married in California. She also asked if we thought the lesbian blogs on BlogHer should be written as to “not offend the straight people.” I said that straight people offend me every single day so, uh—No. It was weird. And not in a Queer way.

So then we went to the Final Keynote which I mentioned in my most previous post. Since that time I got a little more gossip information and have fallen in love with Jenny, The Blogess just a little bit for standing up to the High and Mighty Dooce and all of her Six Foot Amazon-ness. I think this blogger says everything I would like to say. Dooce can suck it. Except that she’s too tall. She’d have to bend over. And just because I just can’t let this die just yet, (you should SEE my stat-counter for people searching for this stuff) I must re-print (with my permission) Melissa Lion’s comment to a “Dooche Defender” named Anna who accused me and everyone else who doesn’t care for Dooce “jealous” because Dooche makes money at blogging.

Anna, so when someone makes a lot of money doing something, then they’re entitled to treat people like shit? And we should all check out reactions to her behaving like a douchebag because she makes a lot of money at it? Or because she’s some sort of pioneer of blogging about the minutia of her personal life as a bourgeois basket case who has no ability to recognize how good she has it and instead shits on the very people who make it possible? We, as bloggers, owe her something, is that right? How much do we owe? Because it seems like she’s taking all she can and then some.

Did I mention I also took in a session about Positive Posting? I did, and I loved it and yes I know that wasn’t the most positive thing but It Needed To Be Said.

Okay I’m finished.

Speaking of Boobs.

Whilst at the BlogHer08 Conference I had my make-up did by the Bare Escentuals ladies from Macy’s and because she was hot the make-up is really good for your skin I bought it. All of it. I had to pick it up later that night at our Farewell Cocktail Party at the store. Have you ever been to the Macy’s in San Francisco? It’s like the size of my home-town. Our party was a “progressive party” but not Progressive like Progressive. It meant it moved or “progressed” from place to place. We partied in the shoe and pantyhose department, in the lingerie department and in the furniture department. I hung out with this lady. We got into a little trouble together (when we weren’t looking for the bathroom that is.) We licked the legs of mannequins, sniffed panties, and got in a confrontation with the K-Y Jelly Lady about their gender specific lube. I wanted to know if HG and I used this lube, which one of us was to be the guy? It was a fair question I thought.

The K-Y Jelly Lady was not amused. LeLo’s Photos of the event are here.

I also held a $750.00 shoe. WHO buys shoes that are $750.00?

Back to the Boobs.

So after the party, I ran down to the cosmetic section after accosting Tricia to accompany me to retrieve my two thousand dollars worth of Bare Escentuals. While waiting I noticed the lady in front of me. Well, actually I noticed her earlier in the evening. Most especially I noticed her boobs. They were fantastic. So I told her so. (Open bar you know.)

She replied, “Thanks! I had them done.”

“Wow,” I said, “They are fabulous.” Pause. “If it wasn’t rude, I’d ask to feel them.”

“GO AHEAD!” she said

I look at Tricia.

She raises her eyebrows and gives me that nod because you know that secretly she wanted to feel them but was too chicken (of her wife killing her.)

So I did.

Feel them.

They really were amazing.

Mommy Bloggers=H. O. T.

Later we met up with Fivestar and another Mommy Blogger et. al to go out to Martuni’s for a cocktail or two. Can I just tell you that I had the most delicious Lemondrop made with Blueberry Vodka I have ever had? It was heaven.

After Martuni’s we went to a very classy place for breakfast where the above mentioned Mommy Blogger realized that she was not going to make her train to get home. We offered for her to stay with us in our hotel room. I had to talk to her husband Brad on the phone to assure him that I was not a serial killer–just a crazy drunk lesbian. For some reason–Brad was okay with this?

Upon leaving the restaurant we couldn’t find a cab so we did the only reasonable thing and WALKED to our hotel.

17 miles.

I was wearing heels.

LeLo was wearing heels.

It wasn’t pretty.

Tricia, who is the nicest person in the entire planet took off her shoes and gave them to LeLo who was getting blisters on the bottom of her feet. Tricia. Walked. Barefoot. Through the streets of San Francisco.

We will be erecting a statue in her honor at the next conference.

When we returned to our hotel room. I slept with a straight girl. A Mommy-Blogger-Straight-Girl. In San Francisco.

Albeit only sleep. It still sounds good. In a dirty kind of way.

The next morning I couldn’t remember her name, but I have on good authority she couldn’t remember mine either. She did offer me money the next morning. I’m not really sure why because I took a Trazedone that night before going to bed. I declined, but definitely considered it for a moment–and wondered what I did to deserve it.

On Sunday, LeLo and I had free time before going to the airport so we explored a bit. It was super fun and I have photos to prove it here.

Since returning home I have been slowly recovering.

Very slowly.

Categorizing all the information and storing it away. Visiting the sites of my new friends and already thinking about next year’s conference.

I really, really, REALLY think that Limpy needs to join us.