Recovering Straight Girl

Leading the Doily Dyke Revolution

Archive for September, 2007

Sep
29

Fun With Stats

Posted under Blogging, Everyday ramble

Well Peeps, it’s the end of the month, and sometimes at the end of the month, I like to look at my FTP Stats and take a look-see at who has been reading my blog, who likes to link here, and the most fun part of all, the search engine phrases that bring people here.

I honestly laugh my ass off every time I read these, and today I’ll just share a few of my favorites. Some are a re-occurring theme.

  1. Nicest boobs (not mine, definitely HG’s)
  2. Lubed boobs (too slippery I would imagine)
  3. Naked Karaoke (guilty)
  4. Straight girls have sex with girls (yeah, when they’re G-A-Y!)
  5. Fuck the weather girl (I didn’t, I swear)
  6. Gay girls turning straight girls gay (oh, if only…)
  7. Me and my best friend made out; we’re both straight girls (not anymore)
  8. Steps to have sex (I’m seriously concerned about the person who searched this phrase, so sad…)
  9. How could I tell my best friend that I was attracted to her and wanted to have a lesbian affair? (there’s a theme here…)
  10. All lawyers are bad (Limpy, I did NOT say that!)
  11. Fucking my neighbor (yes, my neighbor is on the questionable side of straight, but that will not be happening)
  12. Hard core trailer trash (maybe on Syd’s blog…)
  13. Two girls having sex with each other (makes them G-A-Y)
  14. Steps to have sex with a girl (don’t parents talk to their children anymore?)
  15. Do the 12 steps have to be done in order? (I would guess, yes.)

What’s on your Stat counter?

Ciao y’all. (That was one of them too!)

Sep
27

Who’s hurt by my Domestic Partnership?

Posted under GLBTQ issues, Lesbian Issues, Political

DSC_0056.JPG
Yesterday was the deadline for Anti-Gay Rights Groups to turn in signatures that would force anti-discrimination and equal rights laws, already approved by the House and Senate and signed by the governor to go to the voters in November, 2008. The anti-gay rights groups turned in 63,000 signatures. They needed a little over 51,000, so they have a little wiggle room. How much wiggle room is the question. Reporters and bloggers from Basic Rights Oregon, BlueOregon, and The Portland Mercury, seem to agree that in order for The Haters to have enough valid signatures, 89% of the 63,000 need to be valid. If they are not, The Haters will put this on the ballot as a Citizen’s Initiative, something I don’t know a thing about.

What does this mean?

Well, it means that HG and I will have to wait eleven months longer to receive the same rights that straight couples receive automatically. We have to wait eleven months longer to receive about 500 of the civil liberties that was afforded to me automatically when I was married (to a man,) but that I don’t get being married to HG.

Why do The Haters want to prevent this? Who are we hurting by being responsible to each other and taking care of one another like (hetero) couples do? This perplexes me. I just can’t wrap my head around how this hurts anyone or how The Haters can honestly and thoughtfully think that my (healthy) relationship with HG is “less than” my (unhealthy) relationship with my former husbands.

Do the straight people even realize what they get when they say I Do? Do you?

Basic Rights Oregon has a PDF of the Top 100 Rights and Protections that HG and I will receive when the Domestic Partnership Law goes into effect.

HG and I decided we would register as Domestic Partners as soon as we are able to, but reading this list made me think about the seriousness of it all. It’s a lot of responsibility to be that integrated and tied to another person and a decision that should not be entered into lightly, and of course we haven’t. But I wondered how many straight couples really consider the legal responsibility that comes with “marriage?” I don’t think I realized it until I wasn’t married anymore. I suppose I always looked at “marriage” as something that makes you an “official couple,” not something that allowed you over 800 federal and state rights and protections under the law. Amazing how we take things for granted until we can’t have them anymore and simply the fact that my new partner is a woman instead of a man, automatically disqualifies my rights and our relationship. A bit archaic.

This has nothing to do with God. It has nothing to do with the Bible. It’s basic human legal rights. Marriage wasn’t even recognized as a sacrament by the church until the 1200’s. Prior to that, marriage and the process of marrying were put into place in our society as a means of merging families and property. Women were considered property and marriage just transferred her ownership. This is the “tradition” of marriage that The Haters are attempting to uphold? Please.

HG and I want to register as Domestic Partners. We want our relationship recognized and protected. We want to take care of each other. I believe that this is the most moral, family-value-filled, loving thing that we can do for each other. And I pray. That on January 1, 2008, we will be able to do just that.

Sep
25

Ask RSG

Posted under Ask RSG, Lesbian Issues

I recently received a letter from someone who shared with me something interesting about herself:

“Dear RSG,

Hey there, I’m so happy to find your site - not because I am an RSG (I’ve been out since I was 13) but because I seem to keep falling for the women who are either but aren’t, you know what I mean?

This isn’t about internalized homophobia, or not loving myself enough to be with dykes, or loving unavailable people. I know whats happening, but I can’t seem to make it stop. And the women are never completely straight! I don’t get attracted to completely straight women. I get attracted to women who haven’t made up their minds, so they act like they want me one day, and the next they’re freaked out.”

I was told by several women in my coming out process that newly out lesbians are scary sorts and that they will most definitely break your heart. I imagine newly out Recovering Straight Girls are even more so. To be honest, if I were single, I doubt that I would be interested in a woman who had never been with another woman before. That’s a lot of pressure, and I suppose there is always the possibility that maybe it wouldn’t be for her, and she would resume dating men. That may be a bit of an ego blow.

As I told my DR (Dear Reader,) I’m not a therapist, I just seem to play one of the internet, but her question (the entirety of it, I answered privately) made me think.

Why would an out-lesbian be attracted to seemingly-straight women? And, I wonder how many of my RSG Readers (see project RSG,) were with out-lesbians their first time with women? My guess is a lot of them, and I hope that they chime in here to let us know.

I believe that all women are at least a little bit gay, and that it just takes the right situation or a few martini’s and the right situation for her to act on it.

I’m sure that there are a lot of women who will ascertain that they have never and would never desire a sexual relationship with a woman, but this I have trouble believing. I guess I have difficulty believing this because I was once one of those women. But I’m not every woman. I’m sure their are some very deep seeded homophobia for a lot of people that would prevent them from even considering such a thing, and perhaps as our society evolves, more people will be comfortable exploring all parts of themselves.

Perhaps my DR feels somewhat as though she is a “savior” in some way and that is why she is often attracted to women who are on the questionable side of straight. I can totally see that. Perhaps she wants to do her part for the Lesbian Recruitment Project*, and rid the world of un-necessary heterosexuality? Good plan, actually, but not so practical for her. A lot of heart-break in that, I would imagine.

Hopefully she will figure it out and have a healthy relationship with a woman who really knows who she is and what she wants, because that, is the kind of relationship to have. I know from my past significant relationships that it really sucks to look at the person you are with and wonder, “Does he/she really want to be with me?” There is no lonelier position to be in and no one should have to ever wonder that. I don’t anymore, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Everyone should have that kind of relationship that HG and I have, it’s the way it should be. And it is my wish for every one of you who reads this blog that if you don’t have that kind of relationship, either create it or move on.

Because I deserved it, and so do you.

*Just so I don’t get any hate mail, there is no such thing peeps, just a joke.

Sep
20

Speaking of intelligence?

Posted under Political Soapbox

This morning I was minding my own business watching a segment on the Today Show that I had been waiting to watch because it was interesting (and not about OJ.) And all of a sudden the Today show was interrupted because President Bush was holding a press conference, or rather, the Yahoo that is our Commander in Chief had something to say.

Now typically when Bush comes on, I promptly turn the channel, but today I was hoping I could stomach it, and that my program would resume.

No such luck.

I couldn’t stomach it.

Could someone please explain to me what is wrong with that man and how on earth someone so idiotic is our president?

If you think you can stomach the speech and the press conference, go here. But please be advised that you should be drinking prior to reading. It may help.

I just have one or two comments to our esteemed leader. (I’ll bullet them, of course.)

  • Don’t say that you got a B in Econ 101, when you actually got a C.
  • When David Gregory asked you the question about Syria and you responded, “No comment,” the reason you said “no comment,” was because you didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. What happened, did your ear piece go out?
  • Mandela is not dead. He wasn’t killed by Sadaam Hussein, he is still very much alive. No one knew what the hell you were talking about, did you?
  • Is there anyone in your administration who is not doing a “fine job?”
  • When you said today (and other days, at it appears this is a favorite joke of yours,) “I remind people that, like when I’m with Condi I say, she’s the Ph.D. and I’m the C-student, and just look at who’s the President and who’s the advisor.” This is not funny. This is very, very sad.  And finally,
  • You say that our economy was doing well considering we are fighting a war and had to deal with a terrorist attack.  You also said that the budget would be balanced by 2012.  The budget was balanced when you began your presidency.  No, wait, actually there was a surplus., and now we have a deficit.  So this is the equivalent of reducing your income while increasing your spending, and blaming your debt on the increase in spending.  How exactly is this considered fiscally responsible?

I could only manage about 2/3 of it. I can’t even bring myself to read the rest because I might be ill. Actually I think I’m ill already.

Everyone go drink now.

Sep
19

Balancing the tipping point, plus flabby tummy

Posted under Being RSG, Glamorous Waitressing, HG

I’ve been forced to work a lot of hours at my Glamorous Waitressing Job since returning from Mexico.  This is due to the fact that I have had some huge-ass expenses recently that don’t pay for themselves.  The expenses are named DD#1, 2, and 3.  And because I make a pitiful amount of money, I need to work more.

I do not heart my Glamorous Waitressing Job and I am moving towards either getting a “real” job, or doing something different, like becoming a student.  Both ideas are exciting to me, although the later is a bit more terrifying than the former.  I keep trying to tell myself that I’ll be just fine and it’s sinking in a little more every day.  I’ll get there.

In the meantime, I balance my job that I don’t heart because it gives me great flexibility and that, I like.   I could do without most of the people that I’m forced to interact with on a daily basis, which is a bit of a problem when one works with the public, but somehow I manage.

The little things, like the occasional really big tip, or someone who is nice, or the guy yesterday who told me he was in love with me.  Those things make it tolerable.

One truly intolerable thing that I detest about my job is the assumption by those whom I wait on that I am not smart.  I know for a fact that my intelligence level far exceeds most of the people to whom I give service and looking at them looking at me, judging me in some way is yucky.  (Yes, intelligent people use the word yucky.)

It’s just part of my journey.

I have gained fifteen pounds since meeting HG.  I realize that I was horribly depressed and anxious prior to meeting her, which is probably why I was so thin, but I’m not so thrilled with the result.  I’m not certain why this bothers me, it certainly doesn’t bother HG and I am not unhealthy in any way.  I’m quite lovely, I’m sure, and the way my body looks is because I  carried three babies (not at the same time,) and nurtured and nursed them.  Inside for ten months each and outside for four years.  Yes, I spent nearly five and a half years being either pregnant, breastfeeding, or both at the same time.

Perhaps I should care less about my flabby tummy and more about my obvious insanity.

Speaking of insanity.

I’m not sure what is wrong with HG.  I think she’s completely nuts to have signed up to be with me and be part of this family.  That woman does everything for me, every day, all of the time.  She takes care of me, she takes care of the girls, she loves us with every part of her and just when it seems like she already does everything, she does more.

I am not sure what I did right in my life to deserve her, I really don’t.

She really loves me, flabby tummy and all.

Sep
17

I’m Back

Posted under Everyday ramble

We’re back from holiday.  Which is good and bad.  Good because I can sleep in my own bed.  Bad because I don’t have the ocean tides to lull me to sleep.

I barely made it out of Mexico alive.

I survived my bug bite.

But I hardly survived Aunt Flo’s Evil Cousin,

Miss-

I-Come-In-The-Middle-Of-The-Month-To-Fuck-With-You.

Yes.

That is her name.

And I hate her.

Besides her.

We had a great time.

Tonight I had to go to my Glamorous Waitressing Job and I made loads of money thanks to a party who ordered eleven bottles of wine.

How much fun did THEY have?

Me?  Not so much.

But I was paid for it.

Today is my twenty month anniversary with HG.

How I love that woman?

I couldn’t begin to count the ways.

She is my most everything.  My most important part of every part of my every waking and sleeping moment and I am grateful to the grace of God or Goddess or what have you, that she is with me.  She is with me through my life and with me to take care of me and be with me through all of it.

Even Aunt Flo’s Evil Cousin.

HG Rocks.

Amen.

Sep
13

Still on Holiday

Posted under Everyday ramble, Holidays and Vacations

Holiday is going well. Following the Evil Spider Bite, I’ve recovered well. Those Mexican drugs worked very well, and the best part… The entire visit plus drugs only cost me about 370.00 pesos. That’s dirt cheap for the rest of us!

The following day, my arm returned to normal size and I was feeling quite well. Well enough to go to a little shopping and hanging out at the beach. Yeah us!

We’re having a great, but relaxing time. The one thing you can ask from a mini-vacation visiting with the out-laws. It’s all so good.

One more day and then we return to Portland, to real life, without the sound of the ocean as we sleep and the cool breeze and the sun shine of the Mexican weather.

But that’s okay.

We’ve had a wonderful time.

Adios.

Sep
11

On Holiday

Posted under Everyday ramble, Holidays and Vacations

HG and I have made it to sunny Mexico to visit Hottie Mama and Hottie Papa.

We had to get up at an un-godly hour and drive to North Portland, where LeLo’s Airport Limosine service was in business.

Yes, LeLo is THAT good of a friend to take our asses to the airport before 7:00 AM. 

Upon arriving and settling into my sister-out-laws house where we are staying, I quickly fell asleep on the couch.

When I awoke, I discovered I had been bitten by a scorpion, okay maybe just a run of the mill spider, but my entire arm has swollen up.

Hottie Mama is taking me to the pharmacy to hopefully get some really good drugs.

That mixed with the two bloody mary’s that she has already made for me equals that I will probably be feeling just fine quite soon.

Unless I die, I’ll post again . . .

Hasta Luego Baby.

UPDATE:

I’m not dead.  Hottie Mama took me to the Mexican doctor who didn’t speak any English, and lets just say that my Spanish isn’t so up to par these days.  I did a lot of nodding, but then she came in to give me a shot because I think she asked me if it was itchy.  I think I said yes instead of no, and she thought a shot in my butt was in order.  Luckily then, I called in Hottie Mama who helped me out a bit and told her not to give me the shot.  Instead she gave me some pills and a prescription for some cream.  I have absolutely no idea what I am taking, but it seems to be helping.  Unfortunately for me, I did not know how to say, “May I please have a prescription for pain pills?” in Spanish.

Damn.  I knew I should have paid attention in that class.

Sep
07

School Year 2007: Week One

Posted under Everyday ramble

First Day of School, 2007

We all survived. I even got up on time, all three days! And then today, when I didn’t need to get up, I was awake anyway. I think that’s a sign of getting old.

Another sign of getting old is when your wife rents the family a boat and we all go tubing. And when you, (who is pushing 40,) decides that it’s REALLY fun to tube and overdoes it.

Yeah. That was last Saturday. I’m still sore.

The week was full of Back to School and work and sports practice and doctor’s appointments. The DD’s got their first of three HPV vaccines. The drama that occurred in that doctor’s office was so intense, a Hollywood producer would have needed to leave the room due to being overwhelmed.

Eventually, after the screaming stopped, the girls were on their way to being somewhat protected to a prevalent sexually transmitted disease. On the way home from the doctor, DD#3 announced that she didn’t need the vaccine because she was “NEVER having sex.” We told her that she might change her mind someday, but she was quite adamant about the whole thing. “That’s disgusting, and I’m never doing sex!” HG asked her if perhaps she would be willing to put that in writing and sign and date it. She agreed and I believe that we have great blackmail material for later on in life.

Earlier in the week, DD#3, (likely overwhelmed by the first day of Third Grade,) was quite agitated and decided that the best was to vent her frustration towards her very annoying older sister was to hit her as hard as she possibly could. That didn’t go over very well for anyone, (especially her sister,) and as part of her consequence DD#3 had to write five reasons why we don’t hit in our family. This is what she came up with:

  1. You can go to jail.
  2. It will be mean.
  3. It will hart.
  4. It will not be rite.
  5. You will feel bad.

Spelling not a strong trait in my family.

But hey, we have the kids believing that if they hit their sister, they’ll go to jail, so yeah us!

HG sold our tent trailer on the first day after listing it on Craigslist. A nice family with two small children bought it and I was so sad to see it be pulled away.

Until.

HG bought us a new and improved, super fab, HUGE tent trailer, (found on Craigslist naturally.)
New Trailer (Trash)

You can’t tell from the picture, (and of course I forgot to take a picture when it was set up,) but it is super big.  It has a 12 foot box, (stop it Limpy,) and two King Beds which open up on each side.  Set up, it’s about 20 plus feet long with loads of storage.

As we were pulling it away, we noticed that it had a nice big Jesus Fish on the back.

Nice.

Of course that was the first thing to go.  We cleaned it up, smudged it with sage, (to get rid of the boy and Bible-thumping germs,) and put it away.  I told DD#1 about the Jesus Fish, and she said, “Take that off and put our rainbow sticker on.”

That’s my girl.

The DD’s left last night to go away with their dad for a week and on Monday HG and I are heading to sunny-non-hurricane-afflicted-Mexico to visit with Hottie Mama and Hottie Papa, (HG’s parents for those not in the know.)  In between now and then I have about twelve million things to do, including working shifts at my Glamorous Waitressing Job an obscene amount of time.

To where I must go now.

Ciao y’all.

Sep
04

It’s That Time of Year

Posted under Being RSG, Lesbian Issues, Project RSG

Fall, the start of school, a new year, a new season just around the corner. It always makes me want to organize.

No, I’m not organizing any more closets.

Organize my family, organize myself, organize my goals, dreams, Things To Do, label things, make new recipes; it’s a new year.

The younger of the DD’s started school today and they both have “new to us” teachers, meaning DD#1 didn’t have either of them. They both seem super nice, and can I say this???

DD#2’s teacher not only super nice, she’s super cute. Like really, super cute. In a totally straight-school-teacher-kind-of-way-super-cute, but super cute. I don’t think however, that a person is allowed to even think those kinds of thoughts about a teacher…God, I would so be going to Hell, if only I believed in it.

So the few minutes of quiet that I had without the little girls around, I pondered the things that I need to organize and design for myself. It’s always good to re-evaluate yourself and your life from time to time. Some people do this at New Year’s; personally, I’m so flippin’ tired after the holidays, I don’t have the energy to reflect then, so I do it in September. Of course, my evaluations are not unlike one of those people who has a mile-long list of New Year’s Resolutions, but I’ll try not to be discouraged.

Besides losing 15 pounds, running five miles a day, going to the gym regularly, and not eating french fries, I’ve begun a new project. The project is one that I have been working on in my head for awhile, and just now had the thought process to put together and begin.

I call it, Project RSG and I made a little header up there at the top which will help to explain. I am gathering information about all of the other Recovering Straight Girl’s out there, who contact me on a regular basis and tell me a little about their stories. My goal is to put some of these stories together and do something with them. I don’t want to put myself out on a limb too much at this point, so for now, I’ll just gather information.

Check it out, and if you are a RSG, share your story with me.  I really am interested and I so appreciate how many of you have reached out to me; I promise I won’t “out” you to anyone, (unless you want me to of course.)

Tomorrow, all the DD’s go back to school, and I’ll have more time for sleeping, The Gym, and my Goal List.

I hope I have enough paper.