Oh What a Beautiful Morning

Now you’ll be singing that song all day, won’t you?

It seems that summer has arrived in the Portland area, I shouldn’t probably say that because now it will rain until July but I don’t care because I’m going to enjoy the sun while it is here. I have a bunch of new plants to plant this weekend including a new blueberry plant to go with my other blueberry plant because my oldest daughter Mikayla told me that you have to have two. I guess they get lonely and don’t make berries if there is only one. I also bought three pots for my front walkway. I’m going to do something LeLo told me about last year and make a Thrill, Fill, and Spill pot. I’ll take a photo, it should be cool.

We went camping last weekend. On Memorial Day weekend. HG told me to remind her not to do that again. We had a beautiful spot right on a river but a couple of hundred yards down the dirt road there was a group of about 40 people, all with loud pick-up trucks who enjoyed blaring heavy metal as loud as possible. They also enjoyed screaming. Now I like heavy metal, it reminds me of my youth and I’ve been known to scream a time or two, but never at the same time. When camping, this behavior should be curtailed out of respect for other people. And nature.

Ginger stayed home from camping because we’ve been babysitting a very large dog named Blue since last Wednesday and Gingy is not pleased with him. Blue is still a puppy and is very active. Very active. Gingy is not a fan of active large dogs.

Did you know that hugging on school campuses is the new thing? I think its nice and I may just start hugging people at school. If you see me, lets hug. School is out for the summer in 13 days, which is 5 school days and 1 final day. I’m not counting down or anything, really I love school. This is a good thing because according to my advisor if I only take 12 credits per term and don’t go to school in the summer I will graduate with my Master’s in exactly 150 years. I’ll have a lot of time to hug people.

My daughter Mikayla is being “Promoted” to the ninth grade. When I was her age we just called it the end of eighth grade but now it’s a big deal. We had to go dress shopping last night and she found one she likes that is very grown up looking. I’m not sure when it happened that my daughter stopped shopping in the girls section and started wearing a size 5 but it has. I don’t even shop for my girls anymore because I don’t trust that they would like anything I picked out. When did that happen? Luckily they still like me and still want to hang out with me. I have a feeling that won’t last too much longer.

One of my best friends from when I was Mikayla’s age friended me on Facebook. Every time that happens I reminisce about my childhood/teenhood and remember what I did back then. After that, I take a Xanax and say a prayer to whomever will listen.

Lord help me if she’s anything like I was. My mother’s wish would come true but I may end up in the psych ward. Maybe I should start packing just in case.

A Matter of Class

I clearly remember sitting in the Laundromat on hot summer days while my mother washed our laundry. When I was about five or six we got a washing machine—it was a gold Kenmore and my mother was thrilled—but we didn’t have the dryer until much later so my mother hung our clothes out side on the line to dry.

Our house was very old and my parents rented it for $100 a month and we lived on my mother’s small salary while my father went to college on the G.I. Bill. For extra money, my mother would clean apartments sometimes and I would help her by “helping” clean the refrigerator. Childcare was an issue for my mother and I remember being left in strange places where I didn’t know anyone: my most vivid memory of this is being left at a strange woman’s house who smoked and watched television the entire day. I sat in a corner of her house and played with my Barbie, miserable and missing my mother. I don’t think I knew at the time that we were poor because everyone else around us was poor too. It wasn’t until much later that I realized where I had come from was not the same place that I ended up.

My mother went on to become a nurse and my father a white-collar insurance adjuster and even through their subsequent divorce my mother was always able to provide for me, albeit not glamorously. We never went hungry and never worried about where we would live. My troubles were few and as an adult I made my own way in the world in a similar fashion. I’m grateful that my family was able to upwardly move into a more middle-class lifestyle and I try very hard to remember how easily I could lose what I currently have.

Until I went back to school and began to learn more about oppression and how class issues affect our world, I never gave class status much thought. I’ve learned that for some reason when we talk about oppression, we rarely relate it to class. Instead, marginalized minorities compete in our “oppression Olympics” and forget about that group who is continuously oppressed with little chance for freedom—the working poor.

My own middle-class lifestyle was something I completely took for granted and worse, I wanted more. Realizing my own privilege in regards to class is very important especially when considering that even if I were to lose every material possession I own tomorrow, I would be able to rebuild what I had lost much more quickly than someone who did not share my same class status. Because of my: race, education, connections, family and community support, my family and I would probably be okay, even in the worst of circumstances. This is something I never considered until now and I will always try to remember that I have a responsibility to use my privilege for good.

Addressing the issues of class and the struggle of power needs to begin with individuals and our personal responsibility to recognize our own privilege and be aware of why we are in the position we are in. Part of being privileged is not realizing you have it and that is exactly where people of privilege need to begin in order to make change. Each person needs to take a look at their position in this world and make a commitment not to look down on or criticize those who don’t share our same status.

Just like I do not tolerate people using racist or homophobic rhetoric around me, I will no longer tolerate negative comments about the working poor. I will also point out to others (gently) when they are being discriminatory towards a group of people based on class because somehow, we as a society have easily accepted doing so. When people make negative statements about poor undocumented immigrants, crack addicts, welfare mothers, white trash, gang bangers, ghetto breeders and the like—they are being discriminatory not as much about race, but more about class. Groups of different races, religions, and cultures seem to be just fine, as long as they are in a similar class as we are; it’s when they are poor that they become something much less.

Immigrants with money don’t need to come to this country illegally, they are afforded the luxury of Visas and green cards; housewives in the suburbs addicted to pain medicine and Xanax are no different than the “crack mothers” we like to demonize; rich people take advantage of corporate welfare every day and mobsters are nothing more than rich gang members but somehow their status is elevated significantly.

These are the things that need to be realized.

As part of my responsibility, I will carry this message forward and be an example to others. Change in the world begins with ourselves and sometimes just changing one small thing has a much larger effect than we realize. Dr. King once said, “The arc of history is long and it leads towards justice”. I believe this justice is for all people of all: colors, creeds, sexual orientation, religious beliefs AND class.

HG The RG

Hottie

Warning: You’re risking your life

So I hear that Craigslist is going to start posting a warning on their “Erotic Services” page stating that those who place ads there are risking their life. This, of course, is because of The Craiglist Killer.

When I heard this, I had to inappropriately laugh a little bit. Not because I think it’s funny but rather ironic.

How many women have been killed by “Craigslist Killers?” At least one that we know of for sure but I don’t believe that there are epic numbers. Of course, one person dying at the hands of another is always terrible but perhaps the “warnings” on Craigslist are a bit misplaced. Instead, perhaps we as a society should focus on what IS killing women in epic numbers.

1 out of 4 college aged women are forced to have sex at least once while in college yet we don’t give female college students entering college a written warning that states, “There is a 25% chance that you will be raped while you are here for the next four years.”

When a woman comes in for her first pre-natal visit for her pregnancy the doctor doesn’t tell her that the number one cause of death for pregnant women is homicide by her male partner.

When a woman signs her marriage license there isn’t a line near her name that states: “Each year 5.3 million women will be abused by their husbands, you could be one of them” (25% of women report being physically harmed by an intimate partner in their lifetime) or “WARNING: Each year over 1,200 women are killed by their intimate partners.” (That’s an average of Three Each Day.)

We don’t tell middle and high school students that girls between the ages of 12-24 are at the greatest risk of being raped or sexually assaulted and that 73% of those rapes will be at the hands of an acquaintance or family member.

Women are much, much, much more likely to be harmed or killed by their boyfriends, fiances, husbands, or partners than they would ever be at risk by a stranger yet we don’t warn women on a regular basis to be cautious of the men that they share a home with.

Instead we focus on a stranger.

I realize it is much easier for us as a society to focus on some arbitrary medical student from Boston who is normal looking and now we’re terrified of Craigslist. The fear is misplaced. We really should be afraid of what is right around us, which really is scary.

Instead of being scared do something productive and donate to your local women’s shelter. In Portland we have The Portland Women’s Crisis Line; I’m sure you have something just as worthy where you live. Focus energy on doing good instead of being afraid and hopefully we’ll have a lot less to be afraid of.

Monday

It’s another Monday and beginning of another week. Last week was crazy busy and I don’t anticipate this week being much different. It was a derby weekend (again) and we had the bonus of hosting four rollergirls from Seattle at our house on Friday night. They were lovely guests and we enjoyed hanging out with them. AND, because they were coming, HG cleaned the entire house top to bottom! (SWEET!)

Next weekend is another derby weekend and we found out that HG will be playing at the bout on Saturday! When HG first told me she wanted to play Roller Derby I thought it would be a nice little hobby for her, she would make some new friends, and get some exercise. I had no idea that her new hobby would consume so much of both of our lives. It’s not a bad thing, I’m just surprised how involved that I’ve become in HG’s interest. We support each other and I’m doing my part with the added pleasure of really enjoying it! (That, and HG told me to buy a Blackberry because I deserve it!)

It was Mother’s Day yesterday, did you celebrate? We went for our traditional over-priced brunch with the family and Melissa Lion. I decided that next year I would rather have a Mother’s Day Brunch Party at our house instead. If I have it, will you come? Bring champagne and bloody mary mix–because that’s what we’ll be serving. It’s a brunch after all.

Why do so many men in the public eye have to be douchebags and cheat on their wives? Why do their wives have to be such douchebags and defend them? I’m not saying that they can’t move on with their relationships but why pretend that their husbands are such great guys and just made “a mistake?” A Mistake is when you make a subtraction error while balancing your checkbook or forget to pay for an item at Target or add sugar to your recipe instead of salt. When you cheat on your wife, you are not making a “mistake,” you are making a conscience decision to fuck another woman and then lie about it.

Yes, I am talking to YOU John Edwards and Jon from “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”.

For once I would like to see some jilted woman sit in an interview on The Today Show and say, “Yes, it’s true, my husband is a lying, cheating, bastard and I’m going to continue to let him know that he’s a lying, cheating, bastard until I’m satisfied that he won’t do it again.” Instead they sit there and smile and talk about not believing the rumors, or forgiving them or my fav, “I promised to be with him for better or for worse.” Please.

I’m not defending monogamy, but if you are someone who is in to monogamy then for god’s sake do it–don’t lie, get caught and then expect your wife to cover your ass on national television.

Finally. Stamps went up in price today and now I can’t afford to send you a letter. Maybe I should invest in some pigeons? Or I could just use my new Blackberry. See HG? The new Blackberry is practically paying for itself!

Word To Your Mother

On the Today Show today they had a report about how much a stay-at-home mother would earn if she were paid for her job duties. It came out to be over $120,000/year. What a lovely thought. Imagine if I had been paid that much for staying home and raising my children for all of these years–I’d be sitting pretty right now because lord knows I wouldn’t have had time to spend it all!

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday. Did you buy your mother a plant? I’m thinking of buying my mother a plant or some herbs, I’m not sure. I was going to go out to Al’s Garden Center today and find something but it is raining like crazy and I think I’m getting either a cold or the Swine Flu, I’m not sure which. A school nearby is closed for the Swine Flu and I have to say that a little part of me kind of wishes that my institute of higher learning would suddenly need to close for a week or so (Swine Flu or otherwise.) I’m feeling very, very burned out right now. I’ve learned that it’s not a good idea to take your largest course load in the Spring and I won’t be doing that again. My grades are suffering. I’m not getting straight A’s this term, I even got a C on an exam. Yes, a C. I’m admitting it only to all of you as a path toward healing. I’m coming to terms with my failure and finding the strength to go on, accepting that I am not a perfect student after all. It’s depressing–please send chocolate.

Besides school, I have a busy week. Today is my middle daughter’s 12th birthday: Happy Birthday Halsey! She really wants a cell phone and we’ve been back and forth about it. I have a feeling it will be a go but I’ve yet to decide for sure (I’ve got a few hours left . . .)

On Thursday HG and I will be attending “Word To Your Mother”

Word To Your Mother

Friday HG’s Roller Derby Team Guns N Rollers will be scrimmaging against some lovely ladies from Washington State as a fundraising event.

And Saturday we’ll be attending the bout between the Heartless Heathers and the High Rollers!

Sunday: Mother’s Day.

When is Summer? Could someone remind me please?

Last night I had two separate dreams about one of my ex-BFF’s. One of the BFF’s that stopped being my BFF when I told her I was a lezzie. I wonder what that means? I’m not bitter. I feel sorry for her and the rest of my “friends” who so easily walked away from years of friendship, never to be heard from again. It amazes me but really I hold no ill will. One of the dreams took place in Hawaii and we’re going to Hawaii in June. Could that mean something? Next year maybe I’ll take a class on Dream Interpretation. Hopefully I won’t get a C.

Happy Early Mother’s Days to the Mothers! Have fun planting your plants.

Word.