Baja Vacation

Monday was our four-year-seven-month anniversary. We are in Baja on vacation visiting Cher’s parents and having some time together. Four years and five months ago we were here as well—newly together and basking in the delight of our new romance. It’s wonderful to report that we still delight in our romance and although life is busy and sometimes gets in the way, these times together certainly help us to stay connected and remember how much we love each other and how much our relationship means.

I want it to always be that way.

I will do whatever I possibly can to keep it that way.

I arrived in Baja on Saturday, bringing with me seven novels and my Spanish textbook. I believe I may have been a little bit ambitious in thinking that I will get all of those books read—and accomplish the other things I want to do, like write for myself and study Spanish. Looking through my Spanish textbook this morning and realizing everything I’ve forgotten over the past nine months, I’m definitely re-thinking skipping 103 and going right to 201. I don’t have a lot of confidence that I will be able to self teach myself four chapters, but until I review the first six chapters, I’ll reserve making a decision.

I’m reading “The Book Thief,” a story about a young girl growing up in Nazi Germany.  The story is narrated by Death and he tells the reader about this young girl, Liesel, who is sent to live with a foster family. On their way to the foster family, her brother dies on the train and she is haunted by his death and his burial in the snow. During the burial, she sees a book, left by the gravedigger, and she steals it. This is the first of many books she steals. Each theft is taking her a step on her journey and her tale of living under Hitler, stealing food and harboring a Jew in their basement.

Death is busy in the book—seeing how there is a war going on.

Death also visited us yesterday.

Cher and her mom found an abandoned kitten and had been taking care of it. I arrived on Saturday and assumed my caretaking role as well. The kitten seemed to be doing okay and Sunday morning I took her out of her kennel and washed her up. Cher made her a bottle, which she didn’t drink much of. We offered her some wet food, which she ate right away. When she finished, she was washing her paws and seemed to be okay. Suddenly she got very lethargic and I knew something was wrong. Cher thought she was just tired and told me to put her to bed. I waited for a couple of hours and got her up and tried to feed her again. She wouldn’t eat. It only took a couple of hours and she was weak and withering away. We drove to the vet, but they were both closed. I knew on the way home that she was dying.

Cher held her and watched her draw her final breaths, each one a little further apart from the last until she was gone.

I was overcome with sadness. This little tiny life that we were trying to save, just slipped away and there was nothing we could do. We could only sit with her in our hands and watch her struggle to breath and then slip away.

I take comfort in knowing that she died warm and being held and loved instead of cold and alone, maybe being eaten by ants or other bugs. If it weren’t for us trying to save her, no one would have cared for that little being. No tears would have been shed and no one and nothing would have given her even a passing thought.

Even a little tiny life matters. Watching a little tiny life fade away reminds me how precious it all is and to value even the little parts of life that we may otherwise not consider. It’s all around us—we have to just take a moment and notice.

So thank you wee small kitten for letting me care for you for a short time and give you a little bit of love and comfort as your energy passed to somewhere different. Perhaps Death scooped up your soul and carried you away. If so, I have a feeling he held you just as sweetly as we did.

Hot Love in the Summertime

Ahhh. Summer arrived in the Northwest and it has been absolutely glorious. I’ve been doing projects around the house and last weekend I took fourteen teenage girls camping. I have not yet recovered. Yesterday I bought firewood and a miter saw on Craigslist and I’m going to build a firewood storage area on my side yard. Cher asked if she could see my “plans” before I started building it. I didn’t know what she meant. Still don’t.

Last night I took Halsey to see “Eclipse” and it didn’t suck except for the part where the movie theatre must turn the air conditioning off after midnight because I felt as though I could not breathe. Mikayla has been camp counseling this week, which is different from what Halsey told the waitress at a restaurant we where at who asked where Mikayla was. “She’s at Counseling Camp,” she told her. It kind of made it sound as though I’d shipped her off to a sanitarium which wouldn’t make any sense since I’m the one who should probably be shipped off there.

We’re taking the girls camping this weekend for the fourth and Cher and I are going again next weekend with her team so I have a lot of planning ahead. I would like to say that I’ll be sitting in my loungey chair reading magazines but I don’t want to set myself up for any disappointment since one never knows what may happen when one is camping.

Other than the camping, I see a lot of building projects in my future. And spray paint. I adore spray paint and I have discovered that it now comes in a wide array of beautiful colors fit for painting just about anything. I have also discovered power washing and have been power washing everything in sight (and then sometimes spray painting it.) Did you know you can spray paint plastic? Who knew?

I have also discovered the best reality show on television, The Fabulous Beekman Boys. Watch it. You’ll laugh so hard you will cry. I asked Cher if we could buy a small farm but she doesn’t want to hear about it. Imagine how many things I could build and spray paint if I had a small farm . . .

Summer

You wouldn’t know it by the weather around here, but Summer Break has arrived! I haven’t had a chance to really enjoy much of it yet, but I’m hoping to soon. This time of the year is tough in the Pacific Northwest and every year I’m aware of it even more. This was the first Winter we didn’t take a vacation somewhere warm so I think it’s been even harder–but I know the sun is coming soon–and I am looking forward to fun times with friends and my girls.

I have a long reading list and a long project list as well. I will also be working on my book proposal for “The Recovering Straight Girl’s Guide to Lesbian Life” coming to a bookstore near you. As soon as I write it that is!

I want to make a list of Summer To-Do’s and was wondering what other people have on theirs. Last Summer I did a lot of things for the first time and I’m looking forward to adding some items this year! What’s on your list? Are you going on vacation? If so, where? What else are you going to do? Let’s chat!

Countdown: Summer

Four Days of School Left.

Then, Hawaii for a week and a nice summer for all. There is so much to do between now and then including my new “Body Cleanse” that I’m doing to prepare my body for a bathing suit. I have switched to a completely Vegan Diet and eliminated coffee and most sugar. I need to go to Trader Joe’s today and buy stuff that I can actually eat but seriously I feel skinnier already. (I know that’s not possible, just humor me.) Really, I’m not trying to lose weight as much as I just want to flush out all of the bad stuff from my body and see how I feel. Since turning 40 the part of my body I dislike the most (my flabby tummy) seems to have become even more flabbier than ever. I’m hoping this may help along with the Pilates I’m planning on doing later. I don’t want my body to go into shock so I should take it one step at a time.

My 12 year old daughter left today for Outdoor School. She’ll be gone all week and I’m happy for this for two reasons. One because she’ll have a great time and two, because anytime we changed the dynamics of our household slightly for a short amount of time, things seem to calm down in a weird way. I could use the calm. I’m trying to finish up my end of the year school projects and I have no motivation to do so. Right now I’m procrastinating writing a Psychology paper that is due tomorrow because I just really don’t want to do it. Sometimes I think I can’t do something and then I realize that I can. Today is one of those days. I’ll get through it and then, Summer.

It’s June. It’s PRIDE month! Even Obama made a declaration. Wow. If you identify as GLBTQ, what are you proud of? What does PRIDE mean to you? I wrote about this in my Just Out column last week, did you read it? optical communicationsIt’s here.

I’m proud of so many things. Mostly I’m proud and happy to be living my life authentically and having the love that I do. It’s so sappy but there isn’t a day that passes that I’m not grateful for the changes I made in my life. I’ve never regretted a thing and I’m thankful that everything fell into place as it has. My wish is that everyone can have the same experience of living completely. There’s a lot of Pride living your best life–and I definitely have it!

I hope everyone takes some time this Pride Month to think about what brings you pride.

Let me know what those things are!

Burning in my heart

There is a heatwave on its way to the Portland Metro area and I am quite excited to be a part of it. Summer, Summer, Summer. It’s a positively wonderful season.

Yesterday I dumped dropped two of my girls off at LeLo’s where they had a mad fabulous time decorating strawberry cupcakes and playing with Wink. I was invited to meet the staff and tour the World Headquarters of Just Out given by their fearless leader, the illustrious Marty Davis. It’s quite a production over there with about a million talented people putting together a great read twice a month. We toured, we talked, we drank raspberry Italian sodas with whipped cream. I love spending time with interesting people in interesting places and yesterday I had both.

Last night HG and I treated the girls to a dose of “Natural Consequences.” Last week when I was swimsuit modeling, the two older heathens girls decided to fight (including hitting, screaming, slamming and kicking) while we were gone. Last night I hired a babysitter for them. The babysitter (who really needs to update her blog) came over to sit in our living room and read while the two juvenile delinquents girls were remanded to their respective rooms for “reading and reflection time.” The best part? The babysitter was paid out of the two offenders’ allowances.

Yes, there were tears and fits until I told them that it was up to them how this evening played out and that I already had Teacher Stacy lined up to babysit next– and she couldn’t wait to teach them how to do push-ups.

We returned to a quiet house with drawings, notes, and essays on why it’s important not to fight and how to avoid fighting in the future (done on their own accord.)

So far the score is:

DD#1 and DD#2=0
Mommy=2

And summer has just begun.

I’ll still be keeping Teacher Stacy on retainer–you never know what will happen next week.

So far today has been quiet on the home front. This morning we made pancakes and watched “To Kill a Mockingbird” as part of our Summer Home School lesson. This week’s home school lesson is focusing on learning about Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller, Sacajawea, and Ann Frank as well as the oppression of African American’s in our country through the years. Today’s movie also focused on–not judging someone until you walked in their shoes, seeing the best in everyone, standing up for justice, and what a good example the very evolved Atticus, Jem, and Scout are as human beings. Tonight’s movie: “Freedom Writers.”

Tomorrow: Heatwave.

Really, does it get any better than this?