RSG, the Media Critic: “The Kids Are All Right”

A couple of weeks ago I was invited to a screening of the film, “The Kids Are All Right,” starring Annette Benning and Julianne Moore. The publicity company contacted me and set me up with some sweet reserved press seats to which Cher and I were personally escorted to. This made me feel quite fancy and important and I liked the movie already. Ok, that didn’t really influence me but I did feel super posh.

I have thoughts about this movie and I’ve waited awhile to write about this until I was sure of those thoughts. If you haven’t seen the movie and don’t want to know the main storyline, don’t continue reading

The story is about a lesbian couple with two teenage children, one of who recently turned 18. The children seek out their donor and make contact with him, much to the dismay of their moms. A relationship ensues: the donor with the daughter, the donor with the son and the donor with one of the moms (Moore.)

There were things I liked: I liked the fact that the lesbian couple was portrayed with normality–they were a typical couple dealing with life and family and frankly sometimes that is difficult and dready. They loved each other but had issues to work through just like most couples. They loved their children very much and gave them a good and stable home and raised them to be seemingly good people.

The acting was glorious. The photography was amazing. It was funny and touching in many parts.

Moore and Benning actually looked like middle aged women, which is refreshing.

There were things I didn’t like:

Many parts of the movie reinforce stereotypes that we as lesbians have tried to overcome. I would like to dispell them here:

1. Lesbians do not need to watch gay porn in order to get off. Many of us enjoy watching porn of different kinds and gay porn is pretty rad but it’s not a required accoutrement to lezzie sex.

2. Lesbians are not waiting for the right guy to come along or need a good fuck to make us realize we’re not gay.

3. Although I know many lesbians who enjoy wine (myself included,) we’re not all wine lushes.

The Julianne Moore character needed someone and something in her life that happened to turn out to be in the form of some straight fucking. Her self esteem was in the tank and she was needy and vulnerable and ended up with a dude. Although I understand this was an example of sexual fluidity, I don’t think that a mainstream audience will get this message.

This movie could have been more than it was. I realize that no matter how it would have been made, there would be people who would criticize it’s authenticity and resemblance to actual lesbian relationships.Lesbian relationships are not much different than hetero relationships, which is to say that they are unique to each couple.

Here’s what I think the movie got right: Sometimes peoples relationships get off track. Sometimes people cheat on their partners. Sometimes one person in a relationship forgets how amazing the other person is. Sometimes your relationship is strong enough to overcome adversity and sometimes it isn’t. Raising children under any circumstance is difficult. Sometimes being a mother sucks. That’s just real life and real life was represented in this movie. I just wish that the movie came with footnotes.